God the FEAR

1. Made people play the maze game, then laughed your head off when they got a terrible fright

2. Tried to make Cleverbot say something naughty

3. Got overly invested in your Neopets

4. Downloaded these Dollz to use as your avatars – check out those dreamy 2000s outfits!

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5. Lied to people about your A/S/L on Habbo Hotel

6. Read all the drama on your school’s Rate My Teacher page

7. Made Bebo quizzes to test how well your friends really knew you (then felt distinctly betrayed when they didn’t do well)

8. Printed off cheats for video games, feeling like an absolute baller

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9. Joined message boards for your various interests (bands, video games, animals) thinking you’d meet some like-minded people…

10. …Then fought with these so-called like-minded people because they called you a n00b, or some other terribly offensive internet term

11. Joined sprawling group chats of about 50 people on MSN Messenger, where the speed of the ‘conversation’ could give you motion sickness

12. Downloaded about fifty dud tracks on Limewire before finally landing on a decent version of that Eminem song you were looking for

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13. Googled rude things, then panicked that you would be found out

14. Watched early YouTube videos like Charlie the Unicorn or Shoes

15. Edited your pictures with Blingee until they no longer resembled anything that actually occurred in nature

16. And when the internet was down (as it very often was) doing one of two things:

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