WHAT IS IT that they say, “starve a fever, feed a hangover”? Or something like that.
Selecting food to cure your hangover is a highly stressful and personal process – still, some hangover foods are better than others. Here are 15 of Irish people’s preferred hangover cures, ranked from worst to best.
(Note: This ranking does not take in hangover drinks. That is an entirely different ranking, TBH.)
15. Toast
Distinctly lacking in any sort of grease or fun or comfort. Leave it out.
14. Leftover takeaway
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Those chips you got after the pub last night: GREAT at two in the morning, but definitely the last thing you want to see when you wake up. Do yourself a favour and start afresh.
13. Burritos
There’s a lot of food in a burrito. This might be the appeal, but it also might leave you feeling worse than when you started. Bear that in mind.
12. Indian food
RISKY. Naan is the man, but do watch yourself with those curries. Mild is the way to go.
11. Jambons
Pastry? Great. Ham? GREAT. The cheese element is unpalatable to some people, however, who might wonder how long it’s hung about in the deli counter.
10. Sausage rolls
Beautiful sausage rolls. They’re a great hangover lunch/snack, but they won’t really hit the spot. They just won’t.
9. Corn snacks
Onion Rings, Hula Hoops, Thai Rings, Chipsticks – they’re all magnificent, but work best as an accompaniment to another hangover food. A bag of corn snacks alone will not sustain you through a hangover day. No way.
8. Chipper
In our opinion, the mankiest hangover food in the chipper is curry cheese chips or a battered sausage, but they can’t match the mankiness of the foods further down in the list.
7. 3-in-1
A literal pot of beige. Though the sight of it, all brown and congealed, may turn a delicate stomach.
6. A nice fry
Whether home made or obtained from the café around the corner, a good fry will set you up for the day. However, you may find yourself needing more grease as evening sets in. For that reason, we can’t say it’s the perfect hangover food.
5. Breakfast roll
Somehow, putting the fry in the roll makes it feel a bit more rotten and therefore, a better hangover food. We’re trying to satisfy our basest urges here people, remember that.
4. McDonald’s
Not to everyone’s taste, but people SWEAR by McDonald’s milkshakes and McNuggets as a hangover cure. They lose points for not being easily accessible to those outside cities and large towns, however, and for having to make the trek there if you do live near one.
3. Spice bag
When your hangover is particularly dirty, you need a particularly dirty food, and the spice bag will be there for you. The perfect fusion of chipper and Chinese.
2. Chicken fillet roll
Cheap, easily available, and just damn satisfying – there’s a reason chicken fillet rolls are beloved to Irish people.
Beware, though: A bad chicken fillet roll (poor chicken, stale roll, wrong choice of sauce, etc) can leave you sad as well as hungry. Choose with care.
1. Pizza
Pizza is the best hangover food. Why? Because most pizza places open from noon, and you can order and receive the pizza without having to leave your home. For sheer comfort and convenience, as well as taste, pizza is top.
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