BELIEVE US, WE didn’t ask for this.

1. Off licences and pubs are closed tomorrow out of respect to Jesus

He liked a bit of wine, just sayin’. We feel the same about this as you do.

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2. You can go to some EXTREME lengths to avoid this

But we mostly don’t bother, and have a gaff party instead. On that note… let us tell you about the ‘cheeky naggin..’.

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3. Getting one of these means you absolutely have to go to mass

4. Holy Thursday means we can exit Lent guilt-free, when we really abandoned it four weeks ago

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5. It’s obligatory to speed to the off licence after work

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Even if you have no intention of drinking tomorrow, it’s nice to ‘have the option’.

6. This is the only place to get dinner on Good Friday

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7. Eating meat  = going to hell

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8. But a bit of Corned beef from the fridge can be overlooked by the holy God

So says mammy when she’s ravenous at 10pm.

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9. Therefore, Good Friday is a day when you crave steak and wine like none other

10. It’s obligatory to give out about people that can’t go one day without a beer

Despite the fact that you’ve restocked your wine rack in Dunnes last night.

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11. The stations of the cross is the longest mass you’ll ever sit through

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12. And don’t get freaked out if you see a Jesus walking down the back roads

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