BELIEVE US, WE didn’t ask for this.
1. Off licences and pubs are closed tomorrow out of respect to Jesus
He liked a bit of wine, just sayin’. We feel the same about this as you do.
2. You can go to some EXTREME lengths to avoid this
But we mostly don’t bother, and have a gaff party instead. On that note… let us tell you about the ‘cheeky naggin..’.
3. Getting one of these means you absolutely have to go to mass
4. Holy Thursday means we can exit Lent guilt-free, when we really abandoned it four weeks ago
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5. It’s obligatory to speed to the off licence after work
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Even if you have no intention of drinking tomorrow, it’s nice to ‘have the option’.
6. This is the only place to get dinner on Good Friday
7. Eating meat = going to hell
8. But a bit of Corned beef from the fridge can be overlooked by the holy God
So says mammy when she’s ravenous at 10pm.
9. Therefore, Good Friday is a day when you crave steak and wine like none other
10. It’s obligatory to give out about people that can’t go one day without a beer
Despite the fact that you’ve restocked your wine rack in Dunnes last night.
11. The stations of the cross is the longest mass you’ll ever sit through
12. And don’t get freaked out if you see a Jesus walking down the back roads
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