IRISH COLLEGES ARE falling deeper down the world’s rankings.

We disagree. Why? These simple and unquestionable reasons.

1. County colours nights

There’s nothing like em. They’re a beast like none you could ever experience abroad.

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2. The wonder that is the Fresher’s Ball

They contain an unprecedented amount of shifting, and where else can you get away with going to a ‘ball’ wearing runners?

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3. The J1

They want to get rid of you so much they’re willing to give you credit for it <3

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4. Zero craic policies in student accommodation always meant maximum craic

What’s with all the RULES? Tell us one thing, we’ll do the opposite.

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5. The attitude to student politics is generally blase

Oh wait, no, it’s taken to the extremes. We’re talking the Wolf of UL, Fifty Shades of Socs… we could go on.

6. Their belief than students love stale pop acts

Vengaboys, East 17? Hose us down.

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7. The wealth of Societies

Sure, you only join them for the free stuff. But do they have a Banter Soc in the UK? Probably not.

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8. There’s always an opportunity to make a show of yourself

Iron Stomach contest? Yep, time to be known as ‘puke dude’ for the rest of your college career.

9. Student bars are the foundation of each campus

Some* may call them the television of the campus. What else do you point everything else at?

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we did, just now*

10. Hot chicken roll discounts

That student card, fused with a discount on a chicken roll with two fillings. The perfect marriage.

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11. Silly superstitions that put the fear of God into ya

Most Irish colleges have em.

• Walk under that Campanile in Trinity as an undergraduate as it rings and you’ll fail your exams.
• Don’t walk in a straight line towards the clock in St Joseph’s Square in Maynooth unless you want to fail everything.

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• On that note, don’t walk across the UCC quad or sit in the grass unless you want to fail.

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