1. The purchasing of an alcoholic beverage outside of the regular rounds system
“Here, I’ll get these.”
WHAT. This isn’t within the rounds the group is on at all. Something is happening here.
2. Asking them what county they are from despite the REALLY loud music
It’s necessary information. For some weird reason.
3. Barely exchanging a word with them all night when you’re in a group of friends
Flirting with your eyes, obviously.
4. But using the smoking area as a prime opportunity for the craic
You don’t even smoke, but it’s a good chance to learn whether your eye contact will translate into a shifting scenario later in the night.
5. Determining within the first five minutes where they went to college, and whether you have any mutual friends
6. Picking up on something about their home town and running with it
This can be either factual knowledge you have:
You’re from Galway? I was there on holiday last year with the girls. McDonagh’s is a great chipper.
Or a gas mate you have that is also from there, followed by an anecdote:
Sligo? My best friend from college is from there. Do you know him? He got arrested at last year’s Fleadh for stealing a bodhrán.
7. Back inside, ignoring them on the dancefloor (but also giving them major side eye)
8. Attempting to look cool at the bar, just standing there like
9. Agreeing to do shots with them even though you don’t really want to do shots
Who’s going to be the dryshite who’s all “nah, no thanks.”
You take your medicine for the shift.
10. Awkwardly leaning in for the shift knowing that all your friends are watching
Mortifying if this doesn’t work out.
Why must such things be played out in the harsh theatre of the nightclub dancefloor?
11. Getting food with them after and tailoring your order to look like a respectable human being
If it was just you and your friends you’d be ordering all around you.
But you and someone you just shifted? Just a regular meal, please.
Sigh.
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