AS A PEOPLE funerals are one of the many things that the Irish do right. Provided that the death of the person hasn’t been incredibly tragic an Irish funeral can be a great way to celebrate the life of someone who has passed on.

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Here are some of the most important decisions which are key to the success of any good funeral.

1. The Planning
Many a funeral I have heard being planned when the person actually hasn’t died yet. They could be on the way out and your aunt might be whispering to you ‘I hope she goes soon because if she dies now, we can get the church on Thursday because it’s booked out Friday’. Nothing more important in Ireland than getting them in the ground as quick as you can, even if they’re not quite dead yet.

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2. The Spread

Is there anything more important at a funeral than a spread? The success of your funeral (bar the dead person coming back to life) depends on the spread. Are we in a pub, a golf club or your aunt’s house?  What sort of sandwiches are there? Salmon and prawn? Cheese and ham? A three course meal? The possibilities are endless! Funeral patrons judge you on your spread so don’t make this decision rashly.

 3.  The Eulogy
Second only to the spread is the eulogy. It’s supposed to be a summation of someone’s life, something heartfelt and poignant. What you don’t want is your uncle or your brother or your cousin getting up there and spending 20 minutes reflecting on how much they loved the pub or discussing your dead relative’s love of cats in excruciating detail. It’s a eulogy, not a Ted Talk or a Golden Cleric speech. Keep it short, sweet and neat.

4.  The Outfit
Both times and fashion have changed in regards to funeral fashion. We are no longer expected to wear Victorian dresses down to our ankles with a black veil to match. It’s now almost acceptable to wear jeans to a funeral. Remember if your granny is there, she will judge you no matter so make it easy for yourself. Just no crop tops please.

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5. The Makeup

Ah the question that strikes fear into any makeup wearer’s heart. Should you wear eyeliner or mascara to a funeral? Unless it’s waterproof, the answer is probably no (unless you’re planning to have it tattooed on). That eyeliner will be running down your face the moment the waterworks start, making it look like the pandas have finally reached Ireland. Stay away from the black stuff.

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