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Dublin: 13 °C Tuesday 5 November, 2024

15 Irish headlines that SHOULD have been Waterford Whispers (but weren't)

TD warns of smelly women.

TRULY, IRELAND IS a wonderful place. So wonderful, it’s sometimes more or less impossible to satirise.

1. On crime

Irish Times Irish Times

““Was the bacon and cabbage to be given before or after the grass cutting?” Judge James O’Connor enquired.”

2. On hygiene

Connacht Tribune Connacht Tribune

Noel Grealish was literally worried that Irish women would become smelly. “The day of the young woman spending 20 minutes under a shower before she goes out on a Saturday night will certainly become a thing of the past,” he told the paper.

3. On prison riots

TheJournal.ie TheJournal.ie

4. On fashion

Dundalk Democrat Dundalk Democrat

“Much like any normal day…”

5. On parenting

U Magazine U Magazine

The question on every Irish person’s lips.

6. On the clergy

TheJournal.ie TheJournal.ie

I know that feel bro.

7. On sport

RSVP RSVP

8. On the judicial system

9. On policing

@prayforpatrick @prayforpatrick

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

10. On public services

Irish Examiner Irish Examiner

“Is yours the house with the dead flowers in the windowbox” – Irish Water

11. On climate

12. On the fragility of human consciousness

Dundalk Democrat Dundalk Democrat

13. On innocence

Imgur Imgur

14. On sex education

Irish Independent Irish Independent

15. And on mortality

Imgur Imgur

HIYOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Thank you Ireland, and goodnight!

More: 26 things you’ll only find funny if you’re Irish>

More: 13 hardest things about being an Irish woman>

Author
Michael Freeman
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