IRISH SKIN IS really just code for pale skin. We all must suffer.
1. You’re literally white
It’s a special tinge of milk that just won’t go away.
Finding a porcelain or ivory shade of make-up is an endless treasure hunt.
2. And everyone looks better with a tan
A NATURAL one, may we add. A bold statement, but unless you have the perfect rosy red colouring, a healthy bronze tan immediately ups your glow.
Source: Jeannine Healy/Twitter
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3. Fake tan is an evil necessity
The smell, the streaks, the effort, and all to look a boiled tinge of orange. We can’t cry or go out in the rain (which is, always).
It’s like our lives are one massive game of ‘skin disease or bad tan?’
4. Those with sallow skin are practically bullied
THIS ONE only has to look at the sun and he gets a bit of colour. Us? We turn into a human lobster.
To rub it in, they’ll constantly ask you to compare arms when they come home from holidays.
5. You bruise like a peach
The colours just show up on a white canvas that little bit better. It makes waking up after a particularly rough night like someone is trying to illustrate you.
Source: Sammy McGowan/Twitter
6. You can’t wear a bunch of colours
Really bright colours are better suited to tanned skin. Neon yellow, burnt orange…. no.
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Source: emmeline./Twitter
7. You literally glow on hot days
Like a damn vampire.
And it burns, it burns so much.
8. Your legs literally turn a shade of blue if you get too cold
At least it’s a brief departure from white.
9. You get freckles in the sun, but are milky white during winter
You can’t have it BOTH WAYS world.
10. Flash is your mortal enemy
Bye bye face.
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