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8 suggestions for what Irish men should name their penises

Takin’ you down to Shlongford Town.

Jul 3rd 2015, 2:37 PM 8,109 Views 6 Comments

Britain Fashion Man Girdle Source: Associated Press

DO YOU HAVE a name for your, er, manhood? A new survey says that seven out of ten men have a name for their bits.

Retailer Jacamo also discovered the most popular names men give to their penises, including:

Troy, Hercules, The Rock, Russell the Muscle, Wilfred, Dave, Jerry, Johnny, Randolph, Wendell, and Napoleon

We at DailyEdge.ie weren’t really sure about how common these names actually are, so we came up with eight great Irish suggestions. Please, enjoy.

1. Risteárd

Risteard Cooper as Dermot Nally in new RTÉ drama Charlie Actor Risteárd Cooper in Charlie Source: RTE

Why? Well, it’s the Irish translation of Richard. Simple, to the point.

2. The Spire

E4324-Spire-of-Dublin Source: Wikimedia

Evocative.

3. Big Tom

mainliners14-ksx Source: Irish Showbands

Don’t forget your Mainliners, either.

4. The Rock of Cashel

RockOfCashelSummer1986 Source: Wikimedia

Strong. Powerful. Just like your lad.

5. Deputy Stagg

Source: Damien Mulley/YouTube

After Paul Gogarty’s famous outburst in the Dáil. Why not?

6. Schlongford

longford Source: HelpMyHouse

Pay homage to your penis AND your home county in one fell swoop.

7. Dickie Rock

Dickie Rock

Gives a whole new meaning to “Spit on me Dickie!”, doesn’t it.

8. The Giant’s Causeway

Giant's Causeway visitors' centre opening Source: PA WIRE

You know it, baby.

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About the author:

About the author

Valerie Loftus

@valerieloftus

valerie@dailyedge.ie

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8 suggestions for what Irish men should name their penises