WE’RE A LAIDBACK bunch, us Irish.
In fact, it takes lot to rattle us.
Admittedly, however, there are some things which have, over time, gotten under our skin, and frankly, we’ll never be OK with them.
And here are just a few…
1. The Glenroe theme tune.
Back in the day, this tune signalled the end of the weekend…. and the start of yet another week in school.
It reminded you that you had forgotten to get your homework journal signed and brought to mind the damn library book you had yet to finish.
It generally accompanied talk of baths, frantic searches for a missing school tie and an uneasy feeling in your stomach.
2. “Léigh anois go cúramach…”
You could recite this opener in your sleep, couldn’t you?
And that’s likely because it continues to haunt your dreams long after you handed up that final Irish Leaving Cert paper.
And the saddest part? Even after it’s turned into a poem, you still can’t shake the fear.
3. Fake Irish accents.
Whether it’s someone attempting to do an impression of you when you’re abroad or an actor sounding like their only exposure to Ireland was through a leprechaun, a woeful take on an Irish accent is not something any of us handle too well.
In fact, it’s akin to nails on a chalkboard.
4. The sound of Sepp Blatter revealing the FAI’s ’33rd team’ request.
In the aftermath of Thierry Henry’s handball against Ireland in November 2009, the FAI fleetingly asked Fifa if Ireland could be included as a 33rd team.
Aware that this was not, in fact, a possibility, the FAI requested that Fifa keep the request private – something which Sepp Blatter failed to do during an executive committee meeting in Cape Town.
It was explored only fleetingly as part of a wide-ranging 90-minute discussion with that body. Regrettably, the matter appears to have been singled out in public by Mr Blatter despite his assurances that the meeting would remain private.
5. The sound of an Irish actor being claimed by the UK during a British broadcast.
There’s little that annoys us more than hearing UK media claim an Irish actor or actress as their own.
And it riles up Samuel L Jackson as well. Skip ahead to 00.58 to see Samuel fill Ryan in.
6. The Angelus.
If you don’t rest your hands on the top of your spade and stare off into the distance, will your citizenship be revoked? Is talking over it akin to talking through The National Anthem?
And if you don’t observe the bells in your grandparents’ house, will they even let you back in?
7. The sounds of ‘Last Orders’ being called.
When the flickering lights are teamed with a warning from behind the bar, you’re almost guaranteed to sink into a pisser.
You’d been having a class time, not bothering anyone, and now you’re getting thrown out.
And for what? NOTHING.
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