1. Saying sorry when you’re not in the wrong
This can happen when:
- Someone bumps into you
- Someone is in your way
- Someone drops something while they’re handing it to you
2. Keeping up appearances
Nothing like collapsing in a heap and reaching for the wine as soon as your houseguests finally make a move.
Until then, you are a beacon of grace and poise.
3. Taking a drink
You’ll have a drink.
No I can’t, I’m driving.
Ah go on you’ll have a little one.
No really, I’m driving and I’m actually allergic to alcohol.
Just a small one. You will.
I really can’t, I might die.
A go on.
Grand so. Pint.
4. Getting off the phone
Nothing like letting the other person think you’re doing them a favour by ending the conversation, when really you’re ready to throw yourself down the stairs rather than talk to them for another second.
5. Alighting from a taxi/someone giving you a lift
As soon as you get within two miles of your door it’s customary to start bleating:
Anywhere here is grand.
6. Never, EVER calling around unannounced
If you make a house call without giving your potential host at least two hours notice they are well within their rights to either hide behind the curtains or stay very still in the kitchen until you go away.
7. Rejecting compliments
Irish people cannot accept praise. It must immediately be rejected, and if possible, downgraded.
8. Saying thanks to the bus driver
What kind of ANIMAL doesn’t say thanks?
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