IRISH PUBS ARE the most welcoming places in the world, but there are some important things the world should know about them before entering:
1. Crisps are a communal snack for everyone at your table or in your vicinity
If you really want a full bag you’ll have to buy extra. Thems the rules.
2. Also, don’t be expecting any fancy crisps or unique flavours
You’ll be a long time waiting for the hand-cooked kettle variety.
3. There will be a random collection of GAA jerseys and old newspaper clippings up on walls without an explanation
4. There may also be coat hooks underneath the bar – don’t be alarmed
5. Ordering the Guinness first is a national pastime rooted in practicality
It takes longer. Get it in there first.
6. There’s a good chance there will be one auld lad sitting at the bar reading a paper – he’s not to be talked to or distracted in any way
7. A beer mat across the top of a drink means that it can’t be touched, and that the seats are taken
8. Some of the signs up around the place might feature some local… slang
9. You’re not obliged to enter the local raffle that’s advertised all over the bar
10. If there is a snug and it’s free, the best idea is to take it there and then
The chance won’t come around for quite some time/the rest of your life.
11. And finally when it’s late and packed… leaving without saying goodbye to your friends is not only acceptable, it’s preferred
If you go to them to tell them you’re leaving you’ll just be convinced to stay.
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