Wagon

Mrs Meanface is SUCH a wagon.

- After Mrs Meanface gives out to you for dossing in double maths. The wagon.

Pup

You little pup.

- After some little pup kicks you in the shins.

Weapon

That weapon wouldn’t give you the steam off her piss.

- After the neighbour refuses to return a stray football.

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Strap

Come back here and clean this room you little strap you.

- After some little strap refuses to clean up her kip of a room.

Poxy

Nah I’m not going there, their pints are poxy.

- Referring to somewhere with a particularly bad feed of the black stuff.

Eye Ubiquitous/Press Association Images

Witch

Get up off that floor you little witch.

- Commonly heard in supermarket aisles when toddlers throw tantrums.

Cute hoor

Oh he got it for a tenner, the cute hoor

- After someone who’s something of a rogue or a charlatan gets a sneaky discount on something

Dose

Oh Jesus is your man here? He’s such a dose.

- Upon spotting a bit of a pain in the hole at a party.

“You’re right Mairéad, he IS a dose” (Shutterstock)

Pain in the hole

His friend is a pain in the hole too.

-Similar to a dose. You don’t want to get stuck beside a pain in the hole at a party.

Bollix

Will you move you bloody bollix?!

- When somebody doesn’t start driving the instant the light turns green.

Dope

It doesn’t go there you dope!

- After someone tries to put back your Italia ’90 DVD in the wrong place.

Geebag

I can’t believe that geebag shifted Brendan. She knows I fancy him.

- After a disagreeable woman shifts the man you fancy.

Gowl

Look at the state of him. He’s some gowl.

- After you spot an awful eejit in the pub.

Maggot (as in ‘acting the’)

Stop acting the maggot or there’ll be no Santy in this house this Christmas.

- A threat issued to misbehaving children up and down the country.

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11 pieces of modern Irish etiquette>