1. “Have you got a lend of a rubber?”

“A lend? You’re grand, I don’t want it back.”

2. “Will you shift me mate?”

You can imagine the confusion.

Image: Shutterstock.com

3. “Will you meet me friend?”

“Of course, I’d be delighted to, what time?”

Next thing, a stranger lobs the gob on you out of nowhere.

4.  ”Will you get the plates out of the press there?”

“Why would you put plates in a press?”

5.  ”Pass me over that yoke will ya?”

“Eh, what for?”

Do you want a lend of my yoke? (Eye Ubiquitous/Press Association Images)

Or even worse:

D’yeh want to buy any yokes?

Run away. Run far far away.

6. “I’m after hurting me mickey”

“Is that your pet mouse?”

via Imgur

7. “I’m after getting a rake of cans for later”

“Are you trying to tell me you raked up some beans? You’re carrying cans of beans in a rake? What’s going on? Are those my feet?”

This is a rake of cans. You can see how it might be confusing (Yui Mok/PA Wire)

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