THERE’S NO DELICATE way of saying this, so we’re just going to have to come out with it: Irish people, it’s time to retire our formerly innocent slang term, ‘jizz’.
In older, more pure times, ‘jizz’ was kind of a catch-all term for ‘spirit’, ‘enthusiasm’ or ‘get up and go’ - ’jizz it up’ could be interchanged pretty comfortably with ‘jazz it up’.
Today, for obvious reasons, this does not fly so easily.
Most people will already understand this, of course – but some of our politicians have yet to get the memo, as this was uttered today in the Dáil by Gerry Adams:
Yeah, Gerry Adams is going to miss Enda Kenny’s jizz. Which is great to know.
Fine Gael’s Gerry O’Connell came out with something similar during the party’s electoral race recently:
Lads, this is just not on in the Year of Our Lord 2017. You can’t say you’re going to miss the former Taoiseach’s ‘jizz’ and expect people to keep a straight face any more.
For quite some time now, this has been causing uncomfortable situations in schools:
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At work:
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And with families.
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So let this be a message to politicians and teachers and grannies and mams across the country: ‘Jizz’ does not mean ‘spirit’ or ‘get up and go’ any more. It’s time to find a new word. Our deepest apologies.
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