LISTEN. AS A COUNTRY, we need to own up to the fact that our ‘national dish’ is no great shakes.
Of course we are talking about stew. You like it? Oh well, good for you. The rest of us have to deal with all of this.
There is no greater betrayal than asking what’s for dinner, only to discover it’s stew
You let yourself daydream about roasts, lasagne, maybe even getting a cheeky Chinese. But no. Stew. Mams are OBSESSED with making stew, even in summer.
The smell fills up the house like… well, like a bad smell
Even if you haven’t asked what’s for dinner, one sniff is enough for you to know that all your worst fears have come true.
You’d almost hold it against your poor mother…
It’s not her fault. It’s just that stew in general is bad.
…But the stew is still produced again, despite your objections
Surely there must be a hotline where this sort of thing can be reported?
And you’re stuck chewing each bit of beef for like a half an hour
It’s been stewing in liquid for ages! It shouldn’t be this way!
Don’t even talk to us about the mushy spuds and veg
Tough beef and soggy veg. How is this desirable? We hope the person who invented stew is happy with themselves.
Finally, please look at the Wikipedia picture for ‘Irish stew’
Why are we presenting this as delicious Irish cuisine? It looks like vom. We can do better, and we must.
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