EVERY WEEKDAY MORNING, the Daily Edge rounds up the best of the day’s celebrity dirt – from the top to the very bottom.

#CHRIS FROWN: Chris Brown has compared himself to Jesus.

To explain: the singer is currently wearing his sad face after allegedly being involved in a fracas with singer Frank Ocean in a car park. (Frank Ocean wants to press charges; Brown has now got his hand in a cast.)

Poor Chrissie’s feelings were hurt, so he posted this rather beautiful painting of Jesus to his Instagram (since deleted), with the caption “Painting the way I feel today. Focus on what matters!”

Did he paint it himself? Please say he did. (Reuters, TMZ)

So beautiful and moving. (Instagram)

#JUSTIN BOOBER: Pop tyke Justin Bieber got a little fresh with a fan's boob during a meet-and-greet session in Miami. The fan, who's known on Twitter as @JocelynnBieber - so we're guessing that's definitely her real name - snuck into the event. And then this happened:

Twitter

Okay, so it looks like an accident. Could happen to the best of us. But she was pretty chuffed:

#AHHHHNIE: Is there a photo of a young, naked Arnold Schwarzenegger involved in a "sex act"? Is it about to be revealed? That's the story being put about - apparently the photo is part of a "treasure trove" found in an abandoned storage locker. (TMZ)

We don't know whether this is true. But we do have a photo which is surely even more terrifying than a Young Arnie Sex Pic.

Behold, Young Arnie Smiling Pic:

THE TEETH. THE TEETH. THEY BURN MY RETINAS. (Jim MacMillan/AP/Press Association Images)

And the rest of the day's dirt...

• Taylor Swift has a creepy box of "keepsakes" she uses to write all those songs about her ex-boyfriends. (The Sun)
• Alec Baldwin's missus is totally pregnant. (Perez)
• Robert de Niro keeps his socks on in the sack. (The Sun)
• Alex Reid has written a warning letter to Katie Price's new husband. Well, had it printed in a mag anyway. (Mirror)
• That Breaking Bad/Malcolm in the Middle reunion we told you about? It was all lies, sort of. We were had. We're so sorry. (Vulture)