EVERY WEEKDAY MORNING, DailyEdge.ie rounds up the best of the day’s celebrity dirt – from the top to the very bottom.

#KIMYE: Kanye West and Kim Kardashian have spent nearly €600,000 to make sure that when they answer nature’s call with a Number Two, they will be sitting on a golden throne.

The couple splashed out… sorry, not sorry… on four gold-plated toilets for their new gaff in Bel Air. Very chilly on the buttocks, we imagine.

They’ve also got a Swarovski fridge and six beds that cost €130,000 each. All of which will be cold comfort when they have the trots after a late-night kebab. (The Sun)

#FILTHY DRICH: Brian O’Driscoll made a handy €3.2million profit last year, and is probably considering investing in some gold toilets of his own.

He may still be experiencing some feels after being dropped from the Lions squad, but there is some comfort: accounts filed by the chisel-chinned rugby player’s company show profits shot up in 2012.

Brian, if you are not peeing on precious metal, you are nobody. Get on it. (Irish Independent)

DAWWWWWW. (David Davies/PA Wire/Press Association Images)

#BECKS: David Beckham has made a new ad for perfume. Two things we learned: (1) he is justifiably proud of his upper body, and (2) he should not speak in adverts.

Everything is going swimmingly as Becks admires his titanium abs in the mirror and a white-haired flunkey fusses about. Until the flunkey asks him if he needs anything else.

“I have all I need,” Beckham emits in a high-pitched honk. Aaand the illusion is gone.

YouTube/newsupermariobrosuk

#APRIL LUDGATE: Aubrey Plaza, of Parks and Recreation fame, is in a new movie about a girl called Brandy who sets out to Learn About Sex. Oh, and it’s set in the early 1990s.

Here she describes a choice scene to GQ:

I liked angrily masturbating. I say my own name, which you kind of think could be hot in a way, but it doesn’t come off that way. I’m like, ‘C’mon, Brandy. You got this, Brandy.’ But I have two hands up my vagina and I’m just staring, and I’m wearing a Hillary Clinton T-shirt.

Oh.

Chris Pizzello/AP/Press Association Images

And the rest of the day’s dirt…

• Miley Cyrus went shopping in London. And we mean shopping. (Mail Online)
• Taylor Swift is a really good tipper. (Foobooz)
• Hugh Jackman wears his Wolverine outfit in the sack. (The Sun)
• Melissa Joan Hart, aka Sabrina the Teenage Witch, is not a cat person. (Twitter)
• The royal baby is wrapped in the same blanket that Posh and Becks used. (Mirror)

Yesterday’s Dredge: Madonna visited Ireland in secret>