I LIVE AND die by celebrity trends. I’m not too proud to admit that, at one point, I owned two pairs of Kanye West ‘shutter shades’, which I actively wore in public.

It doesn’t even have to necessarily be a fashion trend. Contouring? ALL over that. Stilettoo nails? Sounds good to me!

However, one thing I cannot get on board with of late is a particularly act of pleasantry, started by the Kardashians (who else?) that is threatening to ruin my love for floral arrangements.

Like, what the f*ck is this?

Kim Kardashian sent this to Chrissy Teigen after recently giving birth to her son Miles. Sure, a lovely gesture. But I have to ask – why? Why the orb shape? Why the muted colour palette?

Like, what happened your nice, standard mix that you stick in the Waterford Crystal vase your dad won that time golfing?

No – they have to these mad things that are supposed to look like they’re floating, when they do not. At all.

They look like cauliflower, Kim. Stop it. (Haha, flower. Get it? Sorry).

FOR THE RECORD – I am not against flower walls. I would DIE for a flower wall. In fact, there will probably be one behind my coffin as I’m dropped in to the ground, for guests to take mournful selfies in front of.

But please, let us put an end the contortion and humiliation of the humble rose by way of making them Instagrammable. They are endlessly impractical, and in reality, they just don’t look that good.

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