EVERY WEEKDAY morning, we dig through the celebrity dirt to bring you the best of it. Here’s The Dredge…

Before Kanye West was sexing up Kim Kardashian for real, he was sexing her up in his mind. Yeezy apparently used to watch Kim’s sex tape to get him, ahem, ‘in the mood’ with previous lady friends. Which we’re sure they all found extremely flattering. (TMZ)

Meanwhile, Kim’s mother Kris Jenner is slightly miffed that Kanye keeps mentioning her daughter’s candid home movie, and has told him to “stop mentioning it at every opportunity”. In fairness, it must be a bit weird at the family Sunday dinner. (Radar)

And Kim wants to freeze her eggs. Not that Kanye wouldn’t make a great, great dad. (Radar)

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The Words

Whole entire stomach: The pregnant part of her body that Jessica Simpson believed consisted mainly of water and would disappear when she gave birth. It didn’t, though – possibly due to all that macaroni and cheese – and she’s now revealed the results of her post-pregnancy weight loss. Oh, and a photo of her four-month-old in a bikini. (Hollywood Life, Radar)

Jessica Simpson waves her whole entire stomach goodbye (AP Photo/Chris Pizzello)

No idea: What Brian McFadden had when he married first wife Kerry Katona, according to himself, which we’re sure his two daughters by her are delighted to hear. He also never did any household chores until he met his current lady Vogue Williams. (Irish Daily Mirror)

Brian McFadden, pictured around the time when he had no idea (MIKE WHEELER/Press Association Images)

Cell phone: The device that Sheryl Crow believes caused her (benign) brain tumour. She said the pinky-sized tumour, which happily isn’t anything to worry about, is in her “cell phone area”. But her theory has not been confirmed by doctors. (TMZ)

Sheryl Crow. Cell phone not pictured. (Victoria will/AP/Press Association Images)

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The Dirt

The allegedly-scissor-wielding man arrested outside Miley Cyrus’s house has been charged. (TMZ)

If these SFW photos are anything to go by, Mad Men’s Jon Hamm lives up to his surname in the trouser department. (The Superficial)

Katy Perry and John Mayer celebrated (maybe) getting back together with some strippers, obviously. (Perez)

Chris Brown made an appearance at an event to help the children of domestic violence because, you know. (Perez)

While stopping by a New York bar, Mariah Carey sang some impromptu jazz. Oddly, it wasn’t too bad:

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The Barrel Scraper

This from Roseanne Barr’s ex-husband:

After their split, he said he knew: “I’d never have sex with anyone until I got that removed.” (TMZ)

Yesterday’s Dredge: Kristen Stewart is totally FINE, OK?>