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Dublin: 9 °C Saturday 16 November, 2024

'Kninkles' are the latest reason why you need plastic surgery

Knee wrinkles? Stop the world, we’re getting off for good this time.

HERE’S THE LATEST body problem you didn’t know you had. Saggy wrinkly knees, or ‘KNINKLES’, are a massive indicator that you’re ageing. Second to going up in age.

According to the Daily Mail:

Saggy, wrinkly knees are, along with translucent, aged hands, are one of the biggest indicators of age, and one that even A-listers such as super-fit Katherine Zeta-Jones and Demi Moore fall prey to.

PREY.

We’re sure Zeta-Jones loses sleep at night thinking of her kinkles. Look at them.

czitaknees Henny Ray Abrams / AP/Press Association Images Henny Ray Abrams / AP/Press Association Images / AP/Press Association Images

ARGH. THE HORROR.

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But wait, there’s a solution. Put those ankle-length skirts away, a new procedure claims to be able to temporarily lift those knees, no exercise required. Using a non-surgical combination of infra-red light and vacuum therapy, the treatment can firm that sagging skin and reduce knee fat considerably.

Paris Fashion Week 2014 - Street Style Celine Gaille Celine Gaille

The Vela Shape procedure aims to increase circulation, lymphatic drainage and cellular metabolism to tighten up those flabby knees.

The good news is, the procedure only takes about an hour, but the bad news… it’ll set you back £350.

Whatever, you’ll have super-smooth knees like this:

Costume National Arrivals - Milan Fashion Week 2014 Paolo Diletto Paolo Diletto

The dream. It is alive.

@GardaTraffic’s update about a fake driving licence arrest is gas>

A woman got locked inside a department store and live-tweeted her experience>

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