1. Seeing the timetable for the first time
In the days before PDFs the Leaving Cert timetable was sellotaped to a window or pinned to a board in a prominent position in the school.
You would approach alone or in groups, gasping and wailing and dramatically backing away as the whole thing became terrifyingly real.
2. Studying chemistry/applied maths/music and seeing the timetable for the first time
These poor unfortunates saw the exam wasteland stretching out two weeks in front of them.
Surely some kind of PTSD counselling should be offered?
3. Trying to predict what was going to come up
You were only studying Krebs Cycle and Bismark’s foreign policy of 1871 so if they didn’t come up you were considering throwing yourself out the window in the hope of breaking your writing arm.
4. The night before English Paper I
Feverish nightmares about Wild Swans at Coole and Lady Macbeth, anxious trips to the toilet, furious checking of alarm clocks…
5. The person asking for more paper
How could they be writing so much? LICKS!
6. The person leaving the exam early
How could they be writing so little? How can they not care? ANTI-LICKS!
7. The smell
BO, socks, new pencils, fear.
8. Not being able to fit your prepared essay into any of the titles given
You had three foolscap pages on the causes and processes of sea erosion and you were planning on shoehorning it into a question on pyroclastic clouds if it killed you.
9. Something not coming up
WHAT? No Krebs Cycle or Bismark’s foreign policy of 1871?
10. The maths log book
Why God? Why?
11. Leigh anois go curamach na treoireacha agus na ceisteanna a ghabhann n le cuid Á
The dreaded aural exam with its ancient tape recorder, shrill beeps and overexcited actors bellowing stories about summer holidays and topical issues at you.
Shudder.
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