1. The exact number of pints it takes to get you tipsy
It might take three years for you to actually admit that you’re a Two Pint Tina, but once you do, you have an invaluable piece of life knowledge.
2. It is possible to get sick of pizza
There is pizza at every society meeting. Pizza floating around the campus. Pizza after nights out. And you thought you’d never be sick of it! Hah.
3. How to clean up someone else’s vomit without vomming yourself
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
4. The ability to fall asleep in almost any situation
After sleeping through parties, booming music, and students setting off fire alarms at three o’clock in the morning, you’ll wonder how the sound of traffic ever kept you awake.
5. Just because you’re friends with someone, doesn’t mean you should live with them
Some friendships work better with a smidgeon of distance between you, and that’s OK.
6. Fashion means nothing when you’re hungover
You will see articles about ‘college fashion’ EVERYWHERE, but as the semester wears on, you will probably roll into lectures wearing poorly-disguised pyjamas. That’s nothing to feel bad about.
7. High heels are not for everybody
If you make it through all your college nights out without wanting to throw every pair of heels you own in the bin, congrats! You’re a High Heel Woman. If you’re not, say no to the burning feet and join the Flats Women. It’s nice here.
8. Anything is watchable with the right mindset
You probably knew instantly that the man in that gif is Dave from Storage Wars. You can probably hear the sound that’s coming out of his mouth. And that’s because you were bored enough to watch six episodes back-to-back the other day.
9. You can fit a surprising amount of people in one toilet cubicle
And no one should judge you for that.
10. How to have sex quietly
Some people never learn this (ugh, those people) but it’s an essential component of a happy life with housemates.
11. Finding someone to spoon you is like winning the lottery
Just spooning. Nothing more, nothing less. Because we all need it sometimes.
12. If your friends don’t like the person you fancy, they probably have a good reason
You’ll inevitably agree with them six months down the line when it’s all blown over.
13. €20 for a doctor’s visit is an absolute steal
After college it’s around €50 every time. And that HURTS.
14. The key to making your clothes smell like home is fabric softener
Maybe you didn’t really pay attention to how your parents did the washing. Maybe you thought you’d save money by not buying fabric softener. But listen – without it, your clothes will smell like a skip, no matter how careful you are.
15. Your hometown is not that bad
Sure it’s a kip. But it’s your kip.
16. You can never have too many knickers or socks
Some might say putting off the washing is lazy. We say: “Buy more knickers. Live a little.”
17. How to enjoy cheap wine
This will stand to you in the future. Probably more than your degree. Trust us.
18. You’re actually not missing out on anything
It’s easy to worry yourself into knots over missing a party or a night out. But think about it: Would that night in Coppers really have changed your life? Hardly.
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