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Sunday 24 November, 2024
Sunday 24 November, 2024
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12 lies you were told as a child and totally believed
1. That you could tell if someone liked butter by waving a buttercup under their chin
Why this information was important, we’ll never know.
2. That if you spun around three times and flushed a toilet, you’d see a nun’s face
“I SAW HER!” – every child, lying through his/her teeth
3. That lying turned your tongue black
STICK OUT YOUR TONGUE.
4. That eating your crusts made your hair curly
5. That eating carrots would protect your eyesight
You’ve never seen a rabbit wearing glasses, have you?
6. That it was desperately important to leave out Guinness for Santa Claus
It gives him sustenance and energy for the long night, you see.
7. That if you swallowed orange or apple pips, a tree would grow inside you
8. That thunder was just the sound of God moving his furniture around
Just moving the couch and armchairs around, don’t worry your pretty little head about it.
9. That your goldfish/cat/dog had just gone to the farm
10. That if the ice-cream van was playing music, it meant that he had run out of ice-cream
A likely story.
11. That your Mam knew someone who was ‘never the same’ after using a ouija board
In hindsight, you doubt that there was anyone in Carlow who had a bad experience using a ouija board, but sure look, some lies are necessary.
12. That the guards dealt with bold children
“If you don’t behave yourself, we’re calling the guards.”
Or, if there wasn’t a guard around, any man would do. “I’m telling That Man if you don’t stop your messing.”
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Craic tell me lies