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15 problems you'll only understand if you're a total lightweight
1. The concept of “pre-drinking” is alien to you
You mean we’re going to drink more later?
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2. You have been known to get so sloshed at pre-drinks that you’ve just had to call it a night
Alright, I’m off, lads.
3. Stories of other people’s nights out fill you with fear
“You had *three* drinks on a school night? I’d be in bed for the day.”
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4. Because you’ve been known to get a belter of a hangover after two glasses of wine
5. As a result, there’s no such thing as a “cheeky night out” on a Wednesday
No “going out for one and ending up in Zaytoon at 3am” for you!
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6. Rounds are a living nightmare
You can’t keep up with everyone else, but you also don’t want to seem stingy by not partaking.
Argh!
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7. Whenever you do take part in rounds, it doesn’t end well
Everyone else after three drinks: *talking normally, if a little loudly*
You after three drinks: *unable to stop hiccuping and conscious that your face is very flushed*
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8. You have definitely uttered the phrase, “I’m sorry for ruining your night” at some point in your life
Your mates have seen a lot.
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9. And you’ve sent your fair share of embarrassing drunk texts
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10. YOU HAVE BEEN THIS TEEN
Except maybe you weren’t still a teen…
11. Every so often, you trick yourself into thinking that you’ve somehow developed a stronger tolerance for alcohol…
“Yeah g’wan, I’ll have a shot.”
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12. And the next day you say something to the effect of…
13. You’re reluctant to call yourself a lightweight
Instead you’ll use the following excuses to explain your drunkenness:
All the while, your friends are like, “Nah, you’re just a lightweight, hun.”
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14. But it’s time to say it loud and say it proud…
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15. I’M A LIGHTWEIGHT!
No shame in it.
EMBRACE IT!
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Drinking Lightweight