THERE ARE SOME people who, bless them, just can’t seem to hold on to any of their possessions no matter how careful they are.
Keys get misplaced, socks go missing, phones slide down the backs of mysterious couches. For those unlucky ones, you live this life everyday, and it looks something like this:
1. You develop an immediate fear when you get given something important
“Are you sure you want to give this to me?”
2. You come up with weird ideas that will help you never lose anything again
“I’ll never forget that I left it there!”
*forgets the next morning*
3. You’re constantly paranoid things have fallen out of your pocket
4. Which leads to you patting your pockets in public on a regular basis
Walking down the street “DO I HAVE MY PHONE ON ME?”
*pats down body*
5. People will ask ‘do you know where you last saw it?’ every single time you lose something
And you never, ever know.
6. You have a habit of leaving things down and then completely forgetting about them
7. And you’ve torn your bedroom apart looking for something small countless times
Only to find it was on the dresser the whole time.
*rage intensifies*
8. You have had to return to a friend’s house to collect something that should never have been left there
“Ah, my car keys and all my money. Great.”
9. You are known in the phone shop as *that* person who always loses their stuff
You may as well be best friends with the nice folks at this stage.
10. Nights out are your time to shine
You’re good at losing stuff during the day, but when you’re in the pub your true skills come to the fore.
11. Everyone knows you as the person that loses stuff
Phone, bank card, birth cert, random socks. You’ve lost them all, and your friends are on to you at this stage.
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