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LOOK, THERE’S NO point in beating about the bush here, we tested our mothers’ patience to no end back in the day.
Christ Almighty, how we tested it.
And yet despite our sheer idiocy and our disguised irresponsibility, that woman managed to handle it like an absolute pro.
Oh, she ranted, raved, and pulled the arm off us if we began acting up in public, but sure, that was the name of the game.
It was when she didn’t actually do any of these things that we knew we were in for it.
And we mean, properly in for it.
Here are just a few choice remarks your mother could utter that could turn your blood cold.
1. “Get out of my sight.”
This utterance meant it was officially game over. And you had lost.
You instantly went from pleading your innocence to admitting your guilt, before tearfully begging for forgiveness.
You’d wail and pull on her sleeve until she was forced to repeat herself; “I said get out of my sight” and that, my friends, was the final signal you’d be spending the evening in your bedroom, crying yourself hoarse.
2. “I’m not angry, I’m disappointed.”
This one was generally dished out more as you headed into your teens, but that’s not to say you didn’t bear the brunt of it in primary school.
When your mother pulled that one out, it usually meant she was astounded by both your stupidity to do it in the first place as well as your inability to hide it, and she was going to need some time to process what exactly she was raising.
She didn’t have it in her to shout because, God knows, going by your latest misdemeanor she wasn’t entirely sure you’d understand anything she said.
3. “Just wait until your father hears about this.”
See, the thing is, you could handle your mam ranting and raving at you until Kingdom Come, but you generally knew better than to test your dad to the point he had to raise his voice.
Yes, it was unfair on your mam who went through more packets of Hacks than you could count, but that’s just how it worked back in the day.
And you knew your mam was at the end of her tether when she surveyed the situation she had found you in, taken a deep breath and hissed: “Just wait until your father hears about this.”
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4. “Stop showing off.”
There was something about this remark that really stung because, well basically, it made you look like an utter kn*b.
In this instance, you were likely in flying form, you were likely in the company of your favourite cousins, and you were likely not about to stop any time soon.
At the time, you thought you were keeping the party afloat, but you were actually melting heads, and it was up to your mother to step in and call it a day.
5. “Right, that’s you in for the night.”
Trying to get a few mouthfuls of Mi Wadi out of the fridge after a particularly frantic (and late night) game of Kick the Can was an absolute minefield.
You either had to sneak around the back and tiptoe over to the fridge or you had to beg for forgiveness when you knocked on the front door for the 14th time and insist you only wanted another 15 minutes playing under the street lamp.
And then your mam snapped, picked up your discarded bike, lone rollerblade and broken Slinky from the front garden, ushered you into the hall and laid that Godforsaken one-liner on you.
You knew right well that what she had placed in front of you was pure muck, and while you had spent the last two hours claiming you were about to expire from lack of food, she couldn’t have really expected you to eat fish with no batter alongside potatoes that weren’t frenched or fried.
You couldn’t eat it because it was disgusting; it was absolutely no reflection on your appetite. And the smug look she pulled when she said it? We’ll never forget it.
Sometimes the scariest your mam could be was when she decided words weren’t going to cut it this time, and instead she’d shoot you a look which told you you were in for it when you got home.
This was often accompanied by an extra tight grasp on your wrist and the sound of her teeth gritting and your arse clenching.
We’d have taken a b*ll*cking from Dad any day over that look.
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Friday 27 December, 2024
Friday 27 December, 2024
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7 of the absolute worst things your mam could say to you when you were a kid
LOOK, THERE’S NO point in beating about the bush here, we tested our mothers’ patience to no end back in the day.
Christ Almighty, how we tested it.
And yet despite our sheer idiocy and our disguised irresponsibility, that woman managed to handle it like an absolute pro.
Oh, she ranted, raved, and pulled the arm off us if we began acting up in public, but sure, that was the name of the game.
It was when she didn’t actually do any of these things that we knew we were in for it.
And we mean, properly in for it.
Here are just a few choice remarks your mother could utter that could turn your blood cold.
1. “Get out of my sight.”
This utterance meant it was officially game over. And you had lost.
You instantly went from pleading your innocence to admitting your guilt, before tearfully begging for forgiveness.
You’d wail and pull on her sleeve until she was forced to repeat herself; “I said get out of my sight” and that, my friends, was the final signal you’d be spending the evening in your bedroom, crying yourself hoarse.
2. “I’m not angry, I’m disappointed.”
This one was generally dished out more as you headed into your teens, but that’s not to say you didn’t bear the brunt of it in primary school.
When your mother pulled that one out, it usually meant she was astounded by both your stupidity to do it in the first place as well as your inability to hide it, and she was going to need some time to process what exactly she was raising.
She didn’t have it in her to shout because, God knows, going by your latest misdemeanor she wasn’t entirely sure you’d understand anything she said.
3. “Just wait until your father hears about this.”
See, the thing is, you could handle your mam ranting and raving at you until Kingdom Come, but you generally knew better than to test your dad to the point he had to raise his voice.
Yes, it was unfair on your mam who went through more packets of Hacks than you could count, but that’s just how it worked back in the day.
And you knew your mam was at the end of her tether when she surveyed the situation she had found you in, taken a deep breath and hissed: “Just wait until your father hears about this.”
4. “Stop showing off.”
There was something about this remark that really stung because, well basically, it made you look like an utter kn*b.
In this instance, you were likely in flying form, you were likely in the company of your favourite cousins, and you were likely not about to stop any time soon.
At the time, you thought you were keeping the party afloat, but you were actually melting heads, and it was up to your mother to step in and call it a day.
5. “Right, that’s you in for the night.”
Trying to get a few mouthfuls of Mi Wadi out of the fridge after a particularly frantic (and late night) game of Kick the Can was an absolute minefield.
You either had to sneak around the back and tiptoe over to the fridge or you had to beg for forgiveness when you knocked on the front door for the 14th time and insist you only wanted another 15 minutes playing under the street lamp.
And then your mam snapped, picked up your discarded bike, lone rollerblade and broken Slinky from the front garden, ushered you into the hall and laid that Godforsaken one-liner on you.
6. “If you were really hungry, you’d eat it.”
You knew right well that what she had placed in front of you was pure muck, and while you had spent the last two hours claiming you were about to expire from lack of food, she couldn’t have really expected you to eat fish with no batter alongside potatoes that weren’t frenched or fried.
You couldn’t eat it because it was disgusting; it was absolutely no reflection on your appetite. And the smug look she pulled when she said it? We’ll never forget it.
7. When she pulled a Ronan Keating on it.
Also known as saying nothing at all.
Sometimes the scariest your mam could be was when she decided words weren’t going to cut it this time, and instead she’d shoot you a look which told you you were in for it when you got home.
This was often accompanied by an extra tight grasp on your wrist and the sound of her teeth gritting and your arse clenching.
We’d have taken a b*ll*cking from Dad any day over that look.
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irish mams Mam Fear