WHEN YOU SPEAK to anybody born before 1990 about what kids today get up to on the internet, you’re usually met with a grimace and some kind of comment like “Thank God all of our stupid actions and comments from our early teens weren’t immortalised on social media for eternity.” 

In fact, anybody over the age of 23 made a really lucky escape, because our worst years were all captured and stored on the now defunct Bebo, or if you were a bit more posh – or a bit more intent on letting everyone know you read NME – there was Myspace (which also took down most of the shite people had on their accounts back in 2007). 

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Thankfully, for all of these people, there’s basically no existing record of all of the stupid politically incorrect comments they made as edgy teenagers, very few photos of their no eyebrow phase and nobody ever has to know how much they enjoyed Twilight – or thought that the really problematic, abusive behaviour in the film was, for lack of a better word, goals. 

Things might have been tough for us, but there’s no denying that it’s considerably worse for the youth of today, who are well-versed in the etiquette of Snapchat and building massive TikTok followings before they’ve even left primary school. For child celebrities, it’s even worse.

17-year-old pop-star Billie Eilish has been building a following and releasing music since she was at least thirteen years old, and thanks to the gift of hindsight, she can now see that she felt obliged to share way more details about her personal life than was ever necessary. In a Vanity Fair interview from October, 2017 Eilish said that the one piece of advice she’d give her younger self would be:

Don’t post everything you think. Don’t. Just don’t. If you’re watching this right now – anybody, if anybody is watching this – don’t post your feelings. Don’t do it to yourself.  

A lot of the stuff we feel as teenagers is very valid and important, but Christ, there are so many feelings and thoughts that we all had as teenagers that we wouldn’t have been willing to stand by even a week later. So, that’s one of the first reasons why we should cut 14-year-old Millie Bobby Brown some slack for what she said on Instagram about the new Netflix series You, earlier this week. 

Here’s what she said: 

I just started that new show, You. He’s not creepy! He’s in love with her, and it’s okay, so I’m obsessed with it! I’m binge-watching it. Absolute banger, Netflix. By the way, I know everybody’s gonna say “Oh, he’s a stalker! Why would you support that?!” No, like he’s in love with her. Just watch the show, and don’t judge me on my opinion.

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Watching Millie Bobby Brown’s career unfold as an adult is uncomfortable. There have been so many times where we’ve all been wonder, where the hell are her parents? Why are they letting Drake text her so much? He’s a 32-year-old man! What does he have in common with this little kid? 

We can’t really help but feel the same way while watching Millie share her feelings about You on Instagram this week. There should definitely be an adult in Millie’s life who can clearly explain why Joe Goldberg’s behaviour in You on Netflix is really disturbing, manipulative and not cute. Penn Badgley, who plays Goldberg on the show, even came out last week to tell fans of the show that they really shouldn’t be romanticising this man’s twisted behaviour. 

Many people on Twitter are rightfully concerned about Millie’s naive and idealistic attitude towards the show, but unfortunately, they’re communicating this sentiment to her in a very condescending and angry way, as if she should know all of this by the age of 14.

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There’s no point in attacking Millie Bobby Brown, and there’s very little that anybody who’s not a part of her life can do about the unhealthy attitude towards romance that she has picked up. It’s up to the adults in her life to make sure she knows that Joe Goldberg’s behaviour is not romantic, or something that any individual wants to be at the other end of. 

With that said, it might be worth checking in on the teenagers in your life who have watched the show to see what they took from it and whether or not you should be having a chat with them about emotional abuse and harassment. If you’re unsure of where to start, there’s plenty of advice online including this guide to teaching your kids the warning signs of emotionally abusive relationships. There’s a lot that adults can learn from resources like that, too. 

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