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DailyEdge.ie's monthly horoscopes: June
AS WE SAIL into the month of June, we’re casually dreaming of the hot sunshine and many, many cans that we’re planning to have.
Some of us are going on holidays, some of us are not but what do the moon and stars have in store for us?
Let’s find out.
Aquarius: January 20th – February 18th
Since the days are still getting longer, it’s getting more difficult to see the stars which sounds inspirational but just makes this job harder. You’ve started a project that you’re determined to see through to the end but it might be worth reassessing if it’s worth it or not. Brewing your own gin isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
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Pisces: February 18th – March 20th
You’ve been interrupting a lot of people recently and it’s getting rather tiresome. You need to learn some self control and remember not everyone wants to hear about the time you lost your virginity to Michael Foley in a hedge.
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Aries: March 21st – April 19th
You read all the articles about being ‘beach body ready’ back in March and realised it was all horseshit so you decided to get the swimsuit you REALLY wanted. You’re going to look stunning even if it’s just for the one day of the year when you can justify owning a paddling pool in Ireland.
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Taurus: April 20th – May 20th
You feel unstoppable this month and want to take on any issue or any person no matter how big or small. You’re basically looking for a scrap. Have you considered taking up boxing as a hobby?
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Gemini: May 21st – June 20th
You have been invited to far too many weddings this summer and the cost is increasing by the second. You may have to resort to biting your nails to save on having to get them every time. Also consider reusing some old outfits. Surely you have that debs dress hanging around somewhere?
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Cancer: June 21st – July 22nd
You’re not doing well in this current heatwave as your pasty skin is at risking of being set on fire by the sun. Not to worry though because they just put ALL the Shrek films on Netflix which means you have a new pastime. Watching Shrek and not getting sunburnt.
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Leo: July 23rd – August 22nd
Now that the referendum is over, you’re determined to put your organisation skills to good use. You’ll be organising quizzes, bake sales and canvassing for anything and everything. Should we respect Niall Horan as an artist? The only way we’ll find out is by canvassing.
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Virgo: August 23rd – September 22nd
You’re looking for a track that will be your summer jam and for some reason you’ve settled on Rihanna’s ‘Umbrella’ which does not bode well for the weather or your mental state. We’d suggest something a little more upbeat. Like ‘S&M’.
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Libra: September 23rd – October 22nd
Things are heating up between you and your office crush. You’ve moved on from darting looks across the office to send each other flirty messages on WhatsApp. This is a pivotal moment though, do not accidentally message them while drunk and reveal your deepest emotional traumas. It might scare them off.
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Scorpio: October 23rd – November 21st
Now that you have all your evenings back you should probably try and do something constructive with them like learning Spanish. Then again, a bunch of good TV shows have been added to Netflix and some of them are in Spanish. Two birds, one stone.
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Sagittarius: November 22nd – December 21st
You really need a nap and so you’ll be spending most of June asleep. Start a GoFundMe for a new bed and mattress because by god are you going to need it. Invest in snacks also.
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Capricorn: December 22nd – January 19th
You’ve decided that June is the month where you’re no longer going to take any crap and tell people how you really feel. First up, you’re going to tell your mother that you know you look tired but telling you doesn’t do anything for your self confidence.
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