IRISH PEOPLE HAVE the best phone etiquette in the world.

That’s according to a survey in the Herald yesterday by travel firm Expedia, which says we are the least tolerant of phone-related rudeness.

Of course we aren’t tolerant. How could we possibly tolerate any of these things?

Ignoring the ‘please turn off your phones’ warning

Airplane mode. AIRPLANE MODE.

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Just do it, and let the rest of us avoid having to hear ‘Marimba’ for three minutes straight when you nip to the loo during a film.

Listening to music without headphones

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There should be some law prohibiting this. It’s only fair.

Not using your indoor voice

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How many times has a peaceful bus or train journey been spoiled by someone roaring “JOHN. HAVE YOU DONE THE WASHING? HAVE YOU D- I SAID HAVE YOU DONE THE WASHING?” into their phone?

Too many.

Leaving voice mails

Oh, you left a voice mail? Hmm, let us think…

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Texting at the cinema

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Because nothing ruins your immersion in a film more than the constant glow of someone else’s tiny screen.

Texting ‘K’

We’d rather no text at all than a text with one, almost meaningless letter.

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‘Bye, bye, bye, bye’

The next time we hear someone doing this, we’re going to reach over and hang up the phone for them.

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BYE.

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