THERE ARE SO many people out there that are musically gifted. You probably have that friend who can sing so well, or that other person who can pick up any instrument and just play it.
Then there’s you.
So, for all those people comically lacking in musical talent – this is your time. Your moment to shine:
1. Karaoke is a public humiliation
What you think you look like:
What you actually look like:
“Go on, it’s great craic! Everyone needs a turn! Nobody cares what you sound like!”
It never ends well for anyone. The backing music can only drown you out so much, and there will come a point when it’s just your voice to a whole room of people. Thumbs down.
2. A large proportion of your friends seem to be musical prodigies
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We hear you.
Since when did your group of friends become a hotbed of musical talent? They’re making you look bad with all their damn prowess.
3. You can’t dance to any song, ever
It doesn’t matter what song it is, it will have some semblance of rhythm. Your attempts to keep “in time” with said rhythm will end in failure.
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4. In fact, you need alcohol to hit the dancefloor
You know you’re a bad dancer. A little liquid courage will get you out there, though.
The only problem is everyone else looks like this:
While you’re more like this:
You know that specific feeling when you’re on the dancefloor and you genuinely have no idea what your limbs will do next.
You know it too well.
5. Trying to describe a song to someone is heartbreaking
Just singing them a few lines never, ever works. Re-singing it will only make matters worse.
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6. Picking up an instrument in a friend’s house is dangerous
“Oh, is this your guitar?”
*makes worst sound in the history of music, almost dropping the instrument*
7. Your strong teenage desire to be in a band didn’t match up with your “skills”
Yeah, everyone was forming a band when you were a teenager. It was the cool thing to do. But your complete and utter lack of musical talent meant that you couldn’t be involved.
And introducing yourself as “the manager” just isn’t cool.
8. Singing along to songs at parties is truly horrifying
Everything is getting wild and the tunes are blaring. You’re comfortable enough to sing along to that absolute belter that has come one. Why has everything gone quiet just as you start to get into full flow?
9. Rapping in the car is an outrageous embarrassment
If you’re alone you can get away with it, but you’ll still end up looking like this:
https://vine.co/v/ODZeqmWuTi2
If your friends are in the car, though, it’s game over for your reputation. You accidentally get into it and they all realise what an awful singer you are.
10. You were given this instrument in the school orchestra
You had one job – smashing a big hammer – and you couldn’t even get that right.
11. Going to gigs is a constant source of confusion
“That was a sick guitar solo. Did you see that? Technically so proficient.”
“Yes, it certainly was. He guitars so good.”
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