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18 things everyone knew before smartphones
WE THOUGHT OUR mobiles were the business back in they days before smartphones.
And we were right.
1. How to compose your own ringtones
If you wanted that Bomfunk MC’s Freestyler song as your ringtone, then you had to type it in yourself, note by note.
Joy Reactor Joy Reactor
And it sure as hell beat this old gem.
2. How annoying TV ads for ringtones were
Hands up if you still occasionally get “GUUUURL, YOU BETTA CHECK YO’ TEXTS” stuck in your head when someone near you gets a text.
3. How novel polyphonic ringtones were
Look at us now, with our touch screens and our incredibly fast internet at any time we want it. Once we were happy with polyphonic ringtones.
4. The importance of the right phone cover
And the satisfaction of clicking it into place.
ebay ebay
shellingz shellingz
5. The beauty of picture messages
A beautiful vision in black and white.
illustir illustir
6. Which friend sent the chain smutty jokes
They really finished up around the time of smartphones, right? No more smutty jokes. (PS – don’t revive them, we’re not saying it’s a bad thing they died out.)
mangee mangee
7. How bad-ass flip opening made you feel
EXCUSE ME WHILE I JUST… FLIP OPEN MY BLOODY COOL PHONE!
ceriseyyy ceriseyyy
8. Ditto aerials
Sure, phones with aerials were like America at home.
ebay ebay
9. There was one Nokia that was rumoured to bounce
The Nokia 3220, to be precise. Rumours abounded that the “builders’ phone” (as it was dubbed) was nigh-on indestructible and even bounced if you dropped it due to its rubbery, light-up sides.
Wikimedia Commons Wikimedia Commons
10. The joy of phone charms
So jazzy, so festive. The precursor to the ubiquitous sparkly iPhone case.
camknows camknows
Or perhaps you had a nice leathery black case? On a belt holster?
11. How good the games were
Angry Birds? Pffft. Give me Snake or give me nothing.
Most impressive Snake game EVER Joy Reactor Joy Reactor
Brett Jordan Brett Jordan
12. How to type out complex emoticons
Ah, the joys of non-predictive text. Now eclipsed by the emoji, but forever in our hearts.
Remember this? DailyEdge.ie DailyEdge.ie
13. The cachet of “fancy” models
The ultra-thin Razr from Motorola, or the first of the gang to get a chunky but useful Blackberry. Remember what we used to think was so high tech?
Storm Crypt Storm Crypt
craig1black craig1black
14. How to change your welcome message
After the hands came together across the globe, a little message would flash up. The ideal opportunity for smutty phrases (as above), your own name, or perhaps an inspirational quote.
Imgur Imgur
15. That WAP never, ever worked
Trying to boot up anything on a WAP connection was a waste of time, but we persevered anyway. Even if you were fruitful in your endeavour, websites were laid out like shopping lists and everything felt banjaxed. Still, though. INTERNET PHONE!
tnarik tnarik
16. How truly exciting the first camera phones were
Honestly, the thrill of a flip phone could only have been eclipsed by the thrill of a flip phone that also boasted a camera. Pictures taken on them now look so hopelessly low res that they’re almost hard to look at.
jaygrandin jaygrandin
17. The knack to slidey bits and pieces
Don’t question why the keyboard had to slide out. It just did and it was BRILLIANT.
AP / Press Association Images AP / Press Association Images / Press Association Images
Slidey, slidey.
Imgur Imgur
18. That everyone would have a charger handy
“Anyone have the skinny Nokia charger?” was a common question at house parties. And someone always, always did. Luckily, charging wasn’t that much of an issue because, pre-smartphones, you only had the charge the things once in a blue moon.
thirstforwine thirstforwine
What do you remember from the era before the ubiquitous smartphone? Share your thoughts on your 3310 via WAP in the comments.
Read: 12 reasons Snapchat is worth way more than $3bn>
Read: How gross is your smartphone?
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Mobile Phones Mobiles Nostalgia Phones ringtones Smartphones stupidphones Telephones Texting