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Dublin: 12 °C Friday 8 November, 2024

12 things all painfully polite people are guilty of

“Sorry, do you mind if I just…”

1. Saying “Excuse me!” or “Sorry!” to inanimate objects

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It’s not your fault shop mannequins these days look like actual people!

2. Ditto when other people bump into you

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They barge on without a word, unaware of you mentally scolding yourself for doing it AGAIN.

3. Overusing the phrase “If it isn’t any trouble”

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Like everything is a massive favour.

4. And panicking when you actually have to ask a favour

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You immediately turn into Hugh Grant in a particularly woeful romantic comedy.

“Sorry, I was just wondering if you might possibly… If it’s OK with you, if you could just…”

5. Letting cold calls go on for FAR too long

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It feels rude to interrupt. But you do have things to do. Is now a good time to cut across? *worries for eternity*

6. Rarely correcting people who get your name wrong

It is a good day to be Irish Instagram / irishstarbucksnames Instagram / irishstarbucksnames / irishstarbucksnames

“And how long have you been in Dublin, Veronica?” No one say anything. SHH. Veronica is my name now. Forever.

7. Agonising over sending food back

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You don’t want to eat lukewarm pasta, but goddamn it if you hate making a ‘scene’.

8. And telling the hairdresser that they made a hames of your hair

“I’ll get you a mirror so you can see it from the back.”
“*chokes* Ah, it’s lovely, thanks!”

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9. Worrying about saying no to something

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What if you’re putting them out by saying no? You wouldn’t want to put them out, like.

10. Spending hours* holding a door open for someone a good distance away

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*Not really hours, but they may as well be.

11. Never letting a sneeze go unblessed

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You’ve been known to utter a “Bless me!” on occasion if no one offers one to you.

12. And having your rage be twice as effective, when you actually unleash it

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Because you’re so afraid of scenes, when you actually cause one, people are SCARED.

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Author
Valerie Loftus
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