PEDESTRIAN RAGE IS a real thing.

It manifests itself in short bouts of fury over the conduct of your fellow pedestrians, and it lingers long after that person has exited your life for good.

People who experience pedestrian rage aren’t exactly proud of it, but they also cannot seem to stem the flow of irritation they feel when a member of the public hogs the footpath or abruptly changes direction.

It’s not rational, but Christ, it’s real.

And here are just a few signs you suffer from it.

1. You don’t trust other pedestrians to press the button at traffic lights.

Look, it’s nothing personal, but they were waiting at that light upon your approach, and now you’ve arrived, there’s still no sign of movement.

What’s the harm in giving that button another quick elbow? Maybe they all forgot to do it.

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2. You think there should be a law against walking three abreast on a footpath.

If you have to step foot onto a busy road of oncoming traffic one more time just because one member of the squad doesn’t want to walk in front or behind their mates, you won’t be responsible for your actions.

3. You purposely walk into the path of anyone you see walking and texting.

You know it’s petty, and you should probably be ashamed of yourself, but it’s a like a forcefield dragging you in.

Watching other pedestrians politely step out of the way of a person who is staring at their phone and refusing to look where they’re going is more than flesh and blood can stand.

4. You will fight anyone who battles the wrong way through a crowd of people walking in the same direction.

Have they no shame? Stand aside until the crowd has dispersed, damn it.

It’s like they’re deliberately trying to raise your blood pressure.

5. You have thrown the side-eye at people who you think purposely meandered in order to slow you down.

Look, you get that not everyone is in as big a rush as you, but Christ, they could at least pretend.

And if you’re not above throwing a look at some who is minding their own business while walking at a pace that suits them, then you’re a classic rager.

6. You have had imaginary scraps with people who have walked through a busy city street while reading a book.

Are these people serious? Head buried in a book, not a notion who’s coming towards them, and there they are casually turning a page as you throw them daggers.

7. You believe there is a special place in hell for people who force you to stop your stride, so they can cut across you in order to enter a building.

You have yet to decide who’s in the wrong in this case, but your instincts are definitely to blame them.

And if they do it so slowly that you’re literally stood stock still on the street while they meander in, it’s enough to ruin your day.

8. You despise people who use escalators as a place to dawdle and catch up with friends.

Sorry now, but if you’re blocking an entire escalator of people, just so you and your mate can prop an elbow on each rail and catch up, you need to reassess yourself.

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9. You have decided you will end the next person who walks in front of you in anything other than a straight line.

What is the craic with people who look like they’re training for the military and insist on adopting a zig-zag approach down a major city street?

Why are they like this?

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