SO IT’S INTERNATIONAL Coffee Day. But spare a thought for the non coffee drinker in your life. Don’t say these things to them. EVER.

1. How do you function?

“By sleeping and eating well?” won’t be well received.

2. What do you drink in the mornings?

A little thing called TEA.

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3. What happens when you’re asked to go for coffee?

I sit there feeling bad until it’s time to leave.

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4. Does the smell bother you?

…no.

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5. What happens when you get tired at like 3pm?

“I DON’T BECAUSE I DON’T DRINK COFFEE”

6. Do you drink tea?

SIGH.

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7. You just have to get used to it

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8. Have you tried anything other than instant?

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9. What about coffee flavoured things?

No no no no no. Irrelevant.

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10. Don’t trust you, LOL

[Really doesn't trust you]

11. You’re better off, I’m addicted

I get headaches, chills, mood swings, fidgets, burst into tears when I don’t get my fix.

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12. It’s so expensive too

Because you definitely don’t spend that much money on other shite.

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