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“Eh, I’ll have two double cheese burgers, six chicken nuggets large fries, large Coke, a sundae and…yeah give me one of them apple pie things as well.”
Friday 15 November, 2024
Friday 15 November, 2024
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The 10 people you meet in the chipper after a night out
HEADING TO THE pub is fun and all, but for many people, the true highlight of the night is the pilgrimage to the chipper afterwards.
Sure, the food is a big draw, but the chance to people watch is just as tempting. Here are just a few of the colourful characters you might spot.
The Flirts
These two met in the nightclub, and now they’re making eyes at each other over a shared curry cheese chip.
At some point they’ll share a tender, curry-breath kiss, to the gags of everyone else in the establishment.
True romance.
The Gas Ticket
Hopping up on tables, taking selfies with the staff, generally acting the maggot – for this person, the night isn’t over.
For everyone else, they’re a pain in the bum.
The Sleeper Agent
They’re just gonna put their head down for two minutes…
The Hungry Hungry Hippo
“Eh, I’ll have two double cheese burgers, six chicken nuggets large fries, large Coke, a sundae and…yeah give me one of them apple pie things as well.”
This person’s eyes are famously much larger than their stomach. When they go, they leave a trail of half-eaten food behind them.
The Sober One
They want no part in any of this. They just want to get their food and go home.
The Holy Terror
There’s a reason chippers have bouncers now. And that reason is The Holy Terror.
They’ll fight you. They’ll fight your ma. They’ll fight anyone, ALRIGHT?
The Panhandler
All they want is just one measly euro for a small chip. Just ONE EURO.
No, they can’t go to the ATM, cos they conveniently forgot their PIN.
Please?
The Fed Up Staff Member
They’ve been serving up burgers to ungrateful drunks all night, and now they just want to go home.
Service with a smile? At this hour? Forget it.
The Blind Taster
What did they get? Dunno. They just need food. Now.
They’re going to regret this in the morning, but for now they’ll blindly shove it into their hungry mouths; tasting nothing, feeling nothing.
The Security Guard
They’ve seen it all before, and they won’t stand for any monkey business.
They often come to blows with The Holy Terror. Understandable.
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