1. A school photo featuring an unauthorised home haircut
And/or several missing teeth.
2. The whole family at a restaurant on holidays, with varying degrees of sunburn
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3. A Debs photo with an old boyfriend/girlfriend, still on the mantlepiece
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Just so you can stew in regret at your choice of outfit and your choice of date.
4. A surly-looking Communion celebrant
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Hands of an angel in prayer, face of a child who desperately wants to get back to the bouncy castle.
5. A professionally-taken family photo from 10+ years ago
With everyone sort of draped over each other. Bonus points if the whole family is wearing a uniform, like white tops, jeans, and bare feet.
6. A stiffly posed college graduation photo
In which the subject bares their teeth while clutching a scroll like a piece of driftwood.
7. All the children, posed in order from eldest to youngest on the stairs
If you haven’t been made recreate it already, you will.
8. An ancient black and white photo of a long-dead, stern-looking relative
Your great-great uncle Séamus. Or is it great-great-great uncle? Does anybody even know any more?
9. A picture of a child awkwardly holding their newborn sibling
This would go on to define your reaction to newborn babies for the rest of your life.
10. And a photo of you that your mam loves but which you desperately wish would fall in the fire
Taken at the peak of your awkward phase, but your mam insists it’s ‘lovely’. You best start thinking that way too, because she’s NEVER taking it down. Soz.
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