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8 of the poxiest people you'll find in Dublin, and how to deal with them
THERE ARE POXES everywhere you look.
Slang.ie describes a pox as:
Thankfully, comedian, illustrator and author Aoife Dooley has written an entire book about them. How to Deal with Poxes on a Daily Basis guides us through the worst of the worst in poxiness, and gives a comprehensive guide on getting them to feck off.
Case in points:
Bouncers
We all know the type. Power tripping and refusing you into an empty club because you’ve had two Bacardi Breezers.
Aoife’s got the solution, don’t give them cause to reject you:
People who check themselves into hospital
The solution?
Start listing loads of exotic diseases and ailments they might have. That’ll shut them up.
Poxes who bitch behind your back
The solution:
Irish hipsters
Yeah yeah, avocado toast, craft beer and coconut lattes. We get it.
How to deal with them:
Smoke scabs
Usually found in the Workman’s.
Aoife recommends you use the recession smoke tactic:
People looking at your phone on the bus
THE WORST. We know our Whatsapp group is lit, but can you stop?
The solution:
Name droppers
You know the one. They have to mention a celebrity at every turn.
How to deal with them?
People who won’t stop going on about their kids
How to deal with them?
Literally everyone on the bus
Just obey these rules and we’ll all be grand.
How to Deal with Poxes (On a Daily Basis) by Aoife Dooley is out now.
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