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Dublin: 11 °C Tuesday 5 November, 2024

11 shocking realisations every returning Irish emigrant faces

All changed, changed utterly.

RETURNING TO IRELAND after living abroad can be an eye-opening experience in many ways.

Let us count them…

1. There are about 765 craft beers in your local off license now

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Where did they all come from? You’re not used to such variety in your beer choices in your Irish offies. It’s a brave new world.

2. There are no internet cafes left, but way more regular cafés

The boom in coffee drinking and trying to look cool has seen an upsurge in the number of cafés dotted around our towns and cities. Many of them are blessed with WIFI – which has led to the death of the humble internet cafe.

Now, it’s near impossible to get your hands on one of these for €6 an hour.

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3. Public transport has WIFI and it’s wonderful

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That sweet, sweet nectar of free WIFI has made its way to Dublin Bus, the DART, Irish Rail and Bus Eireann. Ride in style while cruising the internet.

No more looking out the window longingly for you.

4. We appear to have hit peak hipster

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While you were gone, things changed in the hipster world. Sure, we had them before, but nothing will prepare you for their emergence on a grand scale of fixie bikes and the return of vinyls under the arms.

And get ready for moustaches in cafes. Lots of them.

5. Cronuts are everywhere now, you can’t avoid them

Dominique Ansel Bakery Flickr Flickr

The croissant/doughnut hybrid first came to Ireland in the summer of 2013 thanks to the Marker Hotel in Dublin. Now you see them everywhere – with Centra even jumping on the Cronut bandwagon. It’s unstoppable.

6. The beard epidemic is a real and growing trend

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Yeah, people had beards when you left but it was mostly older, distinguished men sporting them. Now you’ve returned you will encounter them at every corner, spanning every demographic.

The beard will not be stopped.

7. There are no Superquinns anymore

Superquinn Shops Sasko Lazarov / Photocall Ireland Sasko Lazarov / Photocall Ireland / Photocall Ireland

In early 2014, Superquinn and Supervalus merged into one – meaning that the Superquinn branding was no more. Don’t worry though, you can still find those Superquinn sausages in Supervalu, and elsewhere.

8. Niche and exotic foods are now the norm

Sushi, burritos and pulled pork are the food of the moment everywhere you go. Even Abrakebabra have started putting pulled pork on their menu – the true sign of its omnipresence.

9. Some things have got seriously expensive again

Even the things you thought would never cost you that much have gone up in price.

You might have left when there was some value around, but those instances are getting rarer and rarer.

10. UTV is not what it once was

You won’t be seeing this guy on your screens anymore.

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UTV Ireland launched in January of this year. It’s a strange new Julian-less world before Coronation St. now.

11. The weather is exactly the same

You’ve been gone so long that you actually forgot that unique feeling of a wintry July in Ireland. Getting used to your climate abroad makes this the most shocking revelation of them all. Sure, you remember that it was cold and rains a lot back home, but nothing will prepare you for living through the disappointment of it all again.

Between Dingle and Dunquin, co. Kerry, Ireland j0sh (www.pixael.com) j0sh (www.pixael.com)

It’s beautiful all the same, though.

More 15 annoying things emigrants say>

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Author
David Elkin
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