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THE MAKERS OF a new vibrator made exclusively for right-handed people are claiming that it can make them smarter, and more sexually satisfied.
They also say that the Dextrus vibrator can be used in the workplace, right in front of colleagues.
“What is this smut?”, we hear you cry!
LELO, the company behind the Dextrus says a global survey has found that left-handed people have it all; they’re more creative and intelligent AND they are up to 71 per cent more sexually satisfied.
So, they’ve developed this contraption “to level the playing field”:
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According to LELO (and this scientific study) the 90 per cent of the population who are right-handed experience pleasure from the left side of the brain, which is more linear and analytical.
Left-handers meanwhile get their kicks from the right side of the brain, which is “responsible for innovative and sensual thinking”.
The solution? Right-handers need to stimulate the right hand side of the brain during sex by holding the Dextrus in their left hand.
Repeat continuously during lovemaking to experience the intensity and passion we’re dubbing ‘The Left Handed Orgasm’.
And that’s not all folks… you can bring it out of the bedroom too, using it in the workplace to feel smarter and more creative.
Just a few discreet squeezes at your desk or water cooler and that corner office will be yours in no time.
Right so. See yiz by the water cooler.
Update: Sadly, the company behind this have retracted their statement and said the right-handed vibrator is not a reality… yet. Lelo added:
This is actually a product we have in development. We’re using this [the previous announcement] as a way of gauging reactions to it and seeing if we could bring it to full development.
Wednesday 25 December, 2024
Wednesday 25 December, 2024
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Sex toy claims it can make 90% of world's population smarter
THE MAKERS OF a new vibrator made exclusively for right-handed people are claiming that it can make them smarter, and more sexually satisfied.
They also say that the Dextrus vibrator can be used in the workplace, right in front of colleagues.
“What is this smut?”, we hear you cry!
LELO, the company behind the Dextrus says a global survey has found that left-handed people have it all; they’re more creative and intelligent AND they are up to 71 per cent more sexually satisfied.
So, they’ve developed this contraption “to level the playing field”:
According to LELO (and this scientific study) the 90 per cent of the population who are right-handed experience pleasure from the left side of the brain, which is more linear and analytical.
Left-handers meanwhile get their kicks from the right side of the brain, which is “responsible for innovative and sensual thinking”.
The solution? Right-handers need to stimulate the right hand side of the brain during sex by holding the Dextrus in their left hand.
And that’s not all folks… you can bring it out of the bedroom too, using it in the workplace to feel smarter and more creative.
Right so. See yiz by the water cooler.
Update: Sadly, the company behind this have retracted their statement and said the right-handed vibrator is not a reality… yet. Lelo added:
Er, watch this space?
Read: 13 things right-handed people will never understand>
Read: Trinity College’s new sculpture is being compared to a giant sex toy (NSFW)
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