IN WHAT IS being described as one of the best episodes of the series – and possibly of all time – Dermot Bannon met his match in schoolteacher Katie on Room To Improve this week.
Married to dairy farmer Padraig, the pair moved into a 100-year old farmhouse inherited from Padraig’s uncle in Tipperary last year. On the work that needed to be done to the house, Padraig said:
The house is fine … It’d do me.”
Hmm. Ok.
The pair tied the knot in 2016 after two years of dating. Padraig said: “We were talking about when to get married, so I said Christmas is a good time because the cows’ll be dry, she’d be able to get time off.
It was just this Christmas or next Christmas – Katie picked this Christmas.”
So, just to clarify, Katie calls the shots.
Following Dermot’s assessment, he declared that it was going “to cost a fortune to put this place right” – music to every viewer’s ears as they await imminent budget scraps.
Padraig warned that Katie would want things done her way, with Katie insisting she just wanted things done right (which is fair enough, TBH).
What did Katie want then? Four bedrooms, including a downstairs one … And a room for her 8ft long hot pink chaise longue.
And of course, it had to be done for under €200,000. Capiche, Dermot?
Days and nights spent slaving over the drawing table, Dermot proposed his design to the pair, (on a hale bale, naturally), which featured an open plan kitchen and sitting room, a chimney-style raised ceiling and a roof light.
“So, what do ye think?”
The face of a woman who did not want open plan.
I feel a bit underwhelmed … I just really wanted a living room with one door.”
It’s a 0/10 Dermot.”
So she says, to the man who would lay down his life for open plan.
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Also, Dermot was having NONE of them and their want for a downstairs bedroom.
But instead of admitting this, he blamed Lisa, saying she made him take it out.
Absolute narc.
Anyway, after four months (!), multiple revisions to the plan (!!) and the budget increased to €220,000 (!!!), Dermot and his building boyos got to work.
Dermot said getting this particular plan to site was one of the longest processes he’s ever been involved with – not helped by the fact that Padraig was extremely reluctant to move out.
Dermot made the mistake of trying to bring up open plan again, to which he was very firmly told, á la Donald Trump:
We’re getting the wall.”
Ok, grand, but what about the window in the front of the house that Dermot wanted to make bigger?
Like, a little bit bigger, but also if it goes too big, then there’s no wall space.”
Dermot:
Wall space for what?
Katie:
For the glass cabinet … It is essential that there is somewhere to store all the China.”
Above is the first recorded photograph of the second Cold War.
Source: paula/Twitter
Katie attempted to diffuse the situation by bringing Dermot for tea with her mother, who is the reigning Housewife Of The Year.
And to suss the china, obvs.
On her daughter, Philomena said:
She’s a right Susie Homemaker like me, she throws a great party.”
… Hence the need for the cabinet.
As wars of windows raged, Dermot seemed to be closer and closer to tears.
Everything I say, everything I do, if I’ve had a hand, act or part in it, it’s been wrong.”
But thankfully, the public were behind him.
Source: Mary Kelly/Twitter
But did Katie and Padraig get the house of her – sorry, their dreams?
You’ll just have to watch the episode to find out! (Trust us, you’ll want to).
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