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1. First things first: don’t stop in the middle of the footpath for a chat with an acquaintance
At least have the decency to move to the side and clear it for passersby. Seriously, don’t make people step off the footpath just so you can talk about Sinead’s baby’s christening.
2. Don’t walk and text unless it’s an absolute emergency
Particularly on a busy street where people are in a rush and collisions are inevitable. Either put the phone away or, if you desperately need to send a text, nip into a shop.
And if you’re one of those people who taps your phone screen with your index finger, don’t even attempt to do it while in transit.
3. For goodness sake, don’t walk around a narrow street with an enormous Irish Nationwide umbrella
These umbrellas are great in theory, but they’re much too big and unwieldy to walk around a town or city. Honestly, just buy a small, sensible one from Penney’s. You’re going to lose it anyway and at least you won’t take someone’s eye out with it.
11. Taking out a giant map in the middle of a footpath is never okay
We know you’re lost, but aking up the whole corner of the street so you can consult your enormous ordnance survey map is not on. Ever. Just ask someone for directions.
Thursday 7 November, 2024
Thursday 7 November, 2024
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12 essential rules that all pedestrians NEED to adhere to
1. First things first: don’t stop in the middle of the footpath for a chat with an acquaintance
At least have the decency to move to the side and clear it for passersby. Seriously, don’t make people step off the footpath just so you can talk about Sinead’s baby’s christening.
2. Don’t walk and text unless it’s an absolute emergency
Particularly on a busy street where people are in a rush and collisions are inevitable. Either put the phone away or, if you desperately need to send a text, nip into a shop.
And if you’re one of those people who taps your phone screen with your index finger, don’t even attempt to do it while in transit.
3. For goodness sake, don’t walk around a narrow street with an enormous Irish Nationwide umbrella
These umbrellas are great in theory, but they’re much too big and unwieldy to walk around a town or city. Honestly, just buy a small, sensible one from Penney’s. You’re going to lose it anyway and at least you won’t take someone’s eye out with it.
4. If you’re walking two abreast, please keep an eye on who’s coming behind you
And don’t start inexplicably veering towards the edge of the path at the exact moment someone’s trying to get past you.
5. And if you’re walking three abreast, you straight up need to stop
Ahem, Spanish exchange students.
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6. Idly strolling along in the middle of a busy street is not on
Would you drive at 20mph on a motorway? Of course not. So let’s keep up the pace while we’re walking down Grafton Street, shall we?
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8. On the flipside, neither is absolutely pegging it like you’re Rob Heffernan
9. Let’s cool it with the hand-holding, shall we?
Holding hands is lovely, but please don’t be that couple who forces people to navigate around their two-person human chain.
10. Ditto with romantic farewells in the middle of the footpath
THEY’RE ONLY GETTING ON THE BUS! No need for a Casablanca-style shift sesh in the middle of the footpath.
11. Taking out a giant map in the middle of a footpath is never okay
We know you’re lost, but aking up the whole corner of the street so you can consult your enormous ordnance survey map is not on. Ever. Just ask someone for directions.
12. Finally, if a buggy is coming through, just be sound and step off the goddamn footpath
For everyone’s sake.
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Craic i'm walking here