EVERY MORNING, we dig through the celebrity dirt to bring you the best of it. Here’s The Dredge…

If there’s one thing Russell Brand likes, it’s a girl on top of a diamanté taxi. So it’s no surprise that he’s now dating Geri Halliwell after ‘falling for her’ during rehearsals for the Olympic closing ceremony. The pair have since been spotted cosying up.

“Geri was holding his hand the same way I hold my wife’s. It was so cute,” an onlooker said, amazed once again that celebrities are JUST LIKE US. (The Sun)

Meanwhile in Spiceland, it’s emerged Mel B and Mel C had a drunken brawl which ended in one of them acccusing the other of making her throw up blood. But somehow, Geri was the one to get punched in the face. (HuffPo)

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The Words

Undies: Katie Holmes’ favourite thing, apparently – she spent no less than €12,000 on underwear during a post-divorce shopping spree in New York. Meanwhile, it’s also emerged she would get “top dollar” if she ever decided to auction off the numerous handbags Tom Cruise apparently gave her. (The Sun, Radar)

Animal: How the ever-romantic Brian McFadden has described bride-to-be Vogue Williams ahead of their wedding this weekend. Although to be fair to him, he did preface it with the word “party”, adding charmingly: “I have to tame her from drinking”. (Irish Daily Star)

It’s all a big joke for Justin until somebody touches his pretty face (Alexandre Meneghini/AP/Press Association Images)

In the balls: Where Justin Bieber likes to hit his male friends before shouting “Got you, bro!” Siva Kaneswaren of The Wanted was one of his victims, but refrained from pummelling Bieber to a bloody pulp, saying “I don’t want to hurt his pretty face.” (Gawker)

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The Dirt

Someone by the name of Lindsay Lohan is “formally a suspect” in the Hollywood Hills theft of $100,000 worth of watches and sunglasses. (TMZ)

Prince Harry has kissed his secret Facebook account goodbye. (Us Weekly)

Ronan Keating is so sorry for cheating on his wife with a dancer that he has refrained from writing songs about either of them on his new album. (The Sun)

Britney Spears has been ordered to “dress better and clean her hair” by Simon Cowell, after turning up at the X Factor “appearing to not be wearing a bra”. (Page Six)

He may be a multi-million-selling boyband star, but at heart One Direction’s Liam Payne is still a 14-year-old putting superhero stickers on his schoolbooks:

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The Barrel Scraper

The last thing, indeed. (Holy Moly)

Yesterday’s Dredge: Prince Harry has something gigantic>