Dublin: 4 °C

Tuesday 25 February, 2025

19 of Ryan Reynolds’ very best one-liners on Twitter

This man is not a comedian. Repeat, not a comedian.

Nov 2nd 2017, 9:00 PM 13,461 Views 0 Comments

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Ryan Reynolds (@vancityreynolds)

RYAN REYNOLDS’ TWITTER account, as famous actors go, is a step up from the rest of Hollywood on the comedy front.

Throughout his years of tweeting, we know one thing: he can deliver a punchline.

1. Like this handy birthday tip for parents

My kids tried to surprise me for my birthday this morning. I totally heard them coming and snuck out to start a new life somewhere else.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) October 23, 2017

Source: Ryan Reynolds/Twitter

2. And showing us all a thoughtful way to wish your partner a happy birthday

Happy Birthday to my amazing wife. pic.twitter.com/7vulMXqOdp
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 26, 2017

Source: Ryan Reynolds/Twitter

3. His expert Halloween advice for Deadpool fans

reynolds Source: @VancityReynolds

Deadpan.

4. His parenting advice is A1

My daughter loves being buried up to her neck in sand at the beach. Her little face lights up when I come back to get her the next day.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) July 16, 2017

Source: Ryan Reynolds/Twitter

5. And he’s not bitter at all

On our 6am walk, my daughter asked where the moon goes each morning. I let her know it's in heaven, visiting daddy's freedom.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) October 16, 2016

Source: Ryan Reynolds/Twitter

Ryan Reynolds Honored With Star On The Hollywood Walk Of Fame Ceremony - Los Angeles Source: Clinton Wallace

6. His stories about his daughter would warm your heart

Went to Disneyland because my daughter's obsessed with Mickey Mouse. She was so excited when I got home and told her.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) January 30, 2017

Source: Ryan Reynolds/Twitter

7. As would his philosophy on parenting

Being a father is the single greatest feeling on earth. Not including those wonderful years I spent without a child, of course.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) July 22, 2016

Source: Ryan Reynolds/Twitter

8. Sometimes it’s hard to believe he doesn’t have a team of comedians working around the clock

Damn it's hard letting your infant daughter go somewhere alone for the first time. I was a total mess dropping her off at Burning Man.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) September 7, 2016

Source: Ryan Reynolds/Twitter

9. It’s zinger central

People in LA are deathly afraid of gluten. I swear to god, you could rob a liquor store in this city with a bagel.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) January 7, 2017

Source: Ryan Reynolds/Twitter

10. He’s still a man getting to grips with modern technology

Tinder isn't a babysitting app. Apologies to Crystal and Janine for the misunderstanding.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 19, 2016

Source: Ryan Reynolds/Twitter

2014 Met Costume Institute Gala - New York Source: DPA/PA Images

11. Regrets, he’s had a few

I can't turn back time, but it appears CPR is actually administered through the mouth.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) July 31, 2017

Source: Ryan Reynolds/Twitter

12. The perils of researching symptoms online

I can go from researching a cramp on WebMD to coffin shopping in under 90 seconds.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 28, 2017

Source: Ryan Reynolds/Twitter

13. This lovely tribute to his dad earlier this year shows that he has a sweet side, too

Happy Father's Day, Dad. What do you get the man who has everything? pic.twitter.com/4IqDGRkLph
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 18, 2017

Source: Ryan Reynolds/Twitter

14. On hotel etiquette

When checking out of a hotel, it's fun to say: "The fire resistant carpet deserves some sort of Fire Resistant Carpet Award!"
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 7, 2017

Source: Ryan Reynolds/Twitter

15. And Disney, again

My daughter gets so pumped watching Disney films. She loves that they all have singing, dancing and a part when the parents die.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 4, 2017

Source: Ryan Reynolds/Twitter

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Ryan Reynolds (@vancityreynolds)

16. When Blake’s birthday comes around, he will have a line for it

Just want to wish Billy Ray Cyrus the most special, magical birthday ever. I love you with all my heart. Also, Happy Birthday to my wife.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 25, 2016

Source: Ryan Reynolds/Twitter

17. Looking forward to his daughter finding these in 10 years

My daughter just sneezed into my yawning mouth. Seemed really fucking pleased with herself. Joke's on her. She'll have to bury me someday.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) April 16, 2016

Source: Ryan Reynolds/Twitter

18. A true hero

Being a Dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy-bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word hero.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 18, 2017

Source: Ryan Reynolds/Twitter

19. Ryan. Never, ever deactivate

My daughter's only 6 months old and already drawing. I'd hang it on the fridge but honestly, it's absolute garbage.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 19, 2015

Source: Ryan Reynolds/Twitter

DailyEdge is on Instagram!

Add us: dailyedge

About the author:

About the author

David Elkin

@ddelkin

david@dailyedge.ie

See more articles by David Elkin

Contribute to this story:

COMMENTS

This is YOUR comments community. Stay civil, stay constructive, stay on topic. Please familiarise yourself with our comments policy here before taking part.

write a comment

∞

About Us

Corrections

Report Content

Policies

TheJournal.ie supports the work of the Press Council of Ireland and the Office of the Press Ombudsman, and our staff operate within the Code of Practice. You can obtain a copy of the Code, or contact the Council, at www.presscouncil.ie, PH: (01) 6489130, Lo-Call 1890 208 080 or email: info@presscouncil.ie

Please note that TheJournal.ie uses cookies to improve your experience and to provide services and advertising. For more information on cookies please refer to our cookies policy.

News images provided by Press Association and Photocall Ireland unless otherwise stated. Irish sport images provided by Inpho Photography unless otherwise stated. Wire service provided by Associated Press.

Journal Media does not control and is not responsible for user created content, posts, comments, submissions or preferences. Users are reminded that they are fully responsible for their own created content and their own posts, comments and submissions and fully and effectively warrant and indemnify Journal Media in relation to such content and their ability to make such content, posts, comments and submissions available. Journal Media does not control and is not responsible for the content of external websites.

19 of Ryan Reynolds’ very best one-liners on Twitter

This man is not a comedian. Repeat, not a comedian.

1. Like this handy birthday tip for parents

2. And showing us all a thoughtful way to wish your partner a happy birthday