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ONLY HOURS AFTER Saoirse Ronan had been presenting awards at the Golden Globes, she appeared on Ellen, seemingly hangover free. 

Since Saoirse’s been heading to award shows since she was just a little kid, she’s seen it all at this stage and decided to have an early night. She told Ellen, “I got out of there quicker than I had anticipated.” 

I wanted to go eat some pizza with my friends. I presented the award to Christian Bale and was like “Great, yeah. This is great for you. Alright, I’m gonna leave now.” I ran and I changed and went back to the hotel and got into my pyjamas and it was so quick I got to my friend Jake and Ally’s house and we watched the rest of it on TV. I basically finished off watching the show in my pyjamas, with my pizza. It was brilliant, I got the best of both worlds. 

Then, Saoirse revealed that she had something for Ellen’s audience – which you should not do, unless you have multiple cheques for $10,000, 250 SUVs or coffee machines to give away, since Ellen’s audience have pretty high expectations. They all cheered in anticipation, until Saoirse revealed that she had filled a Golden Globes goodie bag with trash from the event, and was willing to give it away to members of the audience. 

Saoirse said that the gifts she brought to Ellen’s show were kinda for everyone, but particularly one of Ellen’s crew members named Nicole who had managed to spell Saoirse’s name properly before the show. Ellen joked, “She just used all of the vowels and then eventually she got there.” 

Saoirse began to root through the goodie bag. “The first thing we’ve got for anyone who wants it, is a menu. I don’t know who would be the highest bidder.” 

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And then we have an empty bottle of water. I think I either drank it or Charlize Theron might have had a sip, she’s a lot more impressive than I am. 

We’ve got some napkins, creased napkins. This is genuinely everything that was at the Golden Globes last night. There’s a couple of tulips here, for anyone who wants one. Fresh? They were fresh yesterday, anyway. 

Saoirse pulled out a few more random items, including a spoon, a Lindor sweet and some more napkins, before Ellen pulled out a syringe and asked very confusedly, “Why is there a syringe in here?” Saoirse replied, “They tried to give us all flu shots.” 

If you missed the flu shot gag at the Golden Globes, Andy Samberg and Sandra Oh brought nurses to the event to administer flu shots, much to the disgust of anti-vaxxers watching the show at home, who tweeted furiously that it was a “mockery of those who KNOW the truth.” 

As the interview went on, Saoirse joked about her penchant for stealing things and threatened to steal items from Ellen’s set. Ellen asked was there anything Saoirse had stolen from Mary Queen of Scots, and it took her a minute to remember what she had taken. Ellen joked, “You don’t remember. You steal so often that you don’t remember.” Then, Saoirse revealed that she accidentally stole a ring from the movie, but couldn’t get anything bigger or more valuable, since all they had on set was big frumpy headpieces and live horses. 

Saoirse also went on to talk a bit about her rescue dog, Fran. Fran’s a very intelligent dog apparently, because she recognises her favourite ads on the television and runs in from other rooms in the house to see them when she hears them beginning.

Saoirse also revealed to Ellen that her actual dream job was working as a waitress, not as an actress, but she didn’t really get a say in it because her parents got her into Hollywood at such a young age. Ellen offered to set up a segment for Saoirse’s next appearance on the show, in which she would be able to go undercover as a waitress, so there’s something to look forward to. 

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