A BRIEF CAREER in a choir of some description has been a rite of passage for musically-inclined Irish people since the dawn of time.

If you could hold any sort of a tune, you were in, and the fun and games didn’t let up from there.

1. Having sheet music coming out your ears

You were either the neat binder-and-poly-pockets person or the eh-I’ll-just-gather-it-all-up-into-a-pile person.

2. Forming very strong opinions on which vocal section is the best

Altos, obviously. The sopranos think they’re SO GREAT but they’re NOT. (Even if alto parts are no fun to sing. You have to stick together.)

3. And annoying your family by singing your parts repeatedly around the house

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Oh how they must have loved hearing you screech away at the descant line from Adeste Fideles!

4. Having a favourite one of the ‘short hymns’

Were you an A Íosa Fuair Tú Bás fan? Or maybe you liked The Great Amen? You could always give that one socks.

5. Being envious of that one kid who was genuinely very talented

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Brought everyone to tears during O Holy Night, did she? Well she was pitchy on the especially high ‘diVIIIIIIIIIINE’, so.

6. But then getting a solo once and thinking you were all that and a bag of chips

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OK, so maybe it was the two lines in the middle of the Alleluia, but it still counted.

7. Helping a fellow choir member who got faint during an especially long Mass

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Someone ALWAYS got faint. Very dramatic altogether.

8. Getting told off for messing during an especially long Mass

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Could they really expect much better from a bunch of teenagers?

9. Running out of breath trying to sing a big long Gloria

GloooOOOOOOoooooOOOOOOOoooooOOOOOoooo- *gasp* – ria.

Your poor music teacher tried to tell you all to sneak a breath at different times to prevent everyone gasping as one, but did you listen? Nah.

10. Getting all excited when your teacher said you were going to learn a ‘pop’ song

But then it turned out to be Feelin’ Groovy by Simon and Garfunkel or something equally ancient.

Not something you’d be hugely opposed to now, but at 14? Feck off, Mrs Murphy.

11. Worrying yourselves sick about having to sing in front of the rest of the school

What if they laugh at us? What if I squeak during my solo? I’ll never survive!

12. Singing in illustrious venues

Like the local Dunnes. Or a lorry that has been repurposed as a stage. Or just right there on the street with people trying to not make eye contact with you.

13. Going on a bus (wow!) to another town (WOW!) to compete in some choral competition or other

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Think Glee, but take away the Broadway-standard singing and add terrible school uniforms.

14. And even now, being unable to hear certain songs without harmonising along

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Once an alto/soprano/bass/baritone/tenor, always an alto/soprano/bass/baritone/tenor.

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