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You’re all “What’s the worst that can happen?” as you throw caution to the wind. This is swiftly followed by a dull thud of reality as the worst does, in fact, happen. It’s those things that seem like an excellent idea at the time but, actually, they were a terrible idea.
A terrible, terrible idea.
1. Powering through when you’re already full
THE SCENARIO: You’re eating something delicious. Perhaps it’s a pizza. Perhaps it’s a massive bowl of pasta. As you’re eating, you reach a point at which you are undeniably full and satisfied. And what do you do then? WHY, KEEP EATING OF COURSE!
THE RESULT: This seems like a great idea, until you’re locked in a nausea hell of sore tummy doom. You’re not sure of the science of it, but you’re pretty sure you’ll never be hungry again.
2. That last pint on a midweek night out
THE SCENARIO: Few cheeky pints on a work night. Sure if you’re in and out of the pub fast enough, your body might not even realise you had a drink at all. Oh wait, it’s almost closing time. On to a late bar? Ah yeah. Another pint? Ah yeah.
THE RESULT: This seems like a great idea, until you’re late for work, arrive wearing two odd shoes and a poncho, then fall asleep at 3pm as your boss grimly types an email to HR.
3. “Yeah, sure, come along!”
THE SCENARIO: You bump into an old friend. Well, you say “friend”. He’s kind of annoying really. Although, time has dimmed just how annoying he was back in the day. You tell him you’re going off to meet some friends and he angles for an invite. “Yeah, sure!” you hear yourself say brightly. “Come along!”
THE RESULT: This seems like a great idea, until you remember how truly awful this person is, and how you’re going to have to mind them ALL night. None of your mates have any sympathy, because you invited this utter schmoe along in the first place. And he’s gonna keep texting you for weeks now. Nice one, genius.
4. Not bothering to try clothes on
THE SCENARIO: You’re in a bit of a rush, but you really need a new top for tonight. The queues for the changing rooms are like something from the last days of Saigon and, besides, it’s too hot in this damn shop. Feck it, it’s in your size.
THE RESULT: This seems like a great idea, until you realise that it’s been a long time since you could rely on the old waistline conforming to typical shop sizes. Who needs a top to cover your belly anyway? Right? Right?
5. Greedy eyes on the takeaway menu
THE SCENARIO: You’re STARVING. Seems like two boiled rices won’t be enough between the two of you ordering the Chinese. Better throw some chips in as well. Here, if they’re getting the black bean, then we’d better get Peking duck to split. Grand. Wait – wait, get another curry sauce.
THE RESULT: This seems like a great idea, until they deliver enough takeaway to feed an entire parish. You’ve been eating for half an hour already, and there are three plastic bags of food still untouched. Prawn crackers? Don’t even talk to me.
6. Staying in bed for that extra snooze
THE SCENARIO: Mgnngjfph. Phwa. 8.15am? Phdfb! Mvnvnph.
THE RESULT: This seems like a great idea, until you arrive in work not having showered, about 15 minutes late, to demon stares from everyone else on your desk. Oh, sure, make up some lie about the traffic or finding parking – everyone can see the pillow imprint marks still on your face.
7. Agreeing to stay friends with an ex
THE SCENARIO: It wasn’t the most amicable of break-ups – but, hey, it wasn’t Ex-ageddon either. They ask if you’d like to stay friends and, in the moment, you do. You agree. There’s a tearful hug and you both feel like virtuous, functional people.
THE RESULT: This seems like a great idea, but come on. Really? This only works in exceptional circumstances. Like if they suddenly decide to move to Korea. Forever.
8. Drunk texting for a shift
THE SCENARIO: Wahoo. It’s the freakin’ weekend, baby, I’m about to have me some fun. Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! God, this is a great laugh. Wonder what that person I shifted about a year ago is up to tonight? Ah, it’s 2.15am, but sure I’ll throw them a text and see. Yeow!
THE RESULT: This seems like a great idea, until you wake up with The Sentbox of Doom. Misspellings are littered across the landscape, along with cringe-inducing, stomach-turning attempts at casual flirtation. They didn’t reply, but the read receipts indicate that THEY SAW EVERYTHING.
9. Calling in sick
THE SCENARIO: Whoa. Head is banging like a bongo, mouth is dry and gritty as a Dip Dab, and you’re grappling with the gruesome The Sentbox of Doom (see above). Work today? Not a chance. You NEVER call in sick. You’re practically OWED this.
THE RESULT: This seems like a great idea, until you remember how boring and unsatisfying sick days truly are. No one is around to do anything, you can’t go anywhere in case you’re spotted, and there’s only so much Netflix you can watch. You’d have been better off in work. Sad but, ultimately, true.
What are some things that you thought were a great idea at the time? Share, share and share alike in the comments y’all.
Monday 23 December, 2024
Monday 23 December, 2024
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9 decisions that you will immediately regret
YOU KNOW THE feeling.
You’re all “What’s the worst that can happen?” as you throw caution to the wind. This is swiftly followed by a dull thud of reality as the worst does, in fact, happen. It’s those things that seem like an excellent idea at the time but, actually, they were a terrible idea.
A terrible, terrible idea.
1. Powering through when you’re already full
THE SCENARIO: You’re eating something delicious. Perhaps it’s a pizza. Perhaps it’s a massive bowl of pasta. As you’re eating, you reach a point at which you are undeniably full and satisfied. And what do you do then? WHY, KEEP EATING OF COURSE!
THE RESULT: This seems like a great idea, until you’re locked in a nausea hell of sore tummy doom. You’re not sure of the science of it, but you’re pretty sure you’ll never be hungry again.
2. That last pint on a midweek night out
THE SCENARIO: Few cheeky pints on a work night. Sure if you’re in and out of the pub fast enough, your body might not even realise you had a drink at all. Oh wait, it’s almost closing time. On to a late bar? Ah yeah. Another pint? Ah yeah.
THE RESULT: This seems like a great idea, until you’re late for work, arrive wearing two odd shoes and a poncho, then fall asleep at 3pm as your boss grimly types an email to HR.
3. “Yeah, sure, come along!”
THE SCENARIO: You bump into an old friend. Well, you say “friend”. He’s kind of annoying really. Although, time has dimmed just how annoying he was back in the day. You tell him you’re going off to meet some friends and he angles for an invite. “Yeah, sure!” you hear yourself say brightly. “Come along!”
THE RESULT: This seems like a great idea, until you remember how truly awful this person is, and how you’re going to have to mind them ALL night. None of your mates have any sympathy, because you invited this utter schmoe along in the first place. And he’s gonna keep texting you for weeks now. Nice one, genius.
4. Not bothering to try clothes on
THE SCENARIO: You’re in a bit of a rush, but you really need a new top for tonight. The queues for the changing rooms are like something from the last days of Saigon and, besides, it’s too hot in this damn shop. Feck it, it’s in your size.
THE RESULT: This seems like a great idea, until you realise that it’s been a long time since you could rely on the old waistline conforming to typical shop sizes. Who needs a top to cover your belly anyway? Right? Right?
5. Greedy eyes on the takeaway menu
THE SCENARIO: You’re STARVING. Seems like two boiled rices won’t be enough between the two of you ordering the Chinese. Better throw some chips in as well. Here, if they’re getting the black bean, then we’d better get Peking duck to split. Grand. Wait – wait, get another curry sauce.
THE RESULT: This seems like a great idea, until they deliver enough takeaway to feed an entire parish. You’ve been eating for half an hour already, and there are three plastic bags of food still untouched. Prawn crackers? Don’t even talk to me.
6. Staying in bed for that extra snooze
THE SCENARIO: Mgnngjfph. Phwa. 8.15am? Phdfb! Mvnvnph.
THE RESULT: This seems like a great idea, until you arrive in work not having showered, about 15 minutes late, to demon stares from everyone else on your desk. Oh, sure, make up some lie about the traffic or finding parking – everyone can see the pillow imprint marks still on your face.
7. Agreeing to stay friends with an ex
THE SCENARIO: It wasn’t the most amicable of break-ups – but, hey, it wasn’t Ex-ageddon either. They ask if you’d like to stay friends and, in the moment, you do. You agree. There’s a tearful hug and you both feel like virtuous, functional people.
THE RESULT: This seems like a great idea, but come on. Really? This only works in exceptional circumstances. Like if they suddenly decide to move to Korea. Forever.
8. Drunk texting for a shift
THE SCENARIO: Wahoo. It’s the freakin’ weekend, baby, I’m about to have me some fun. Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! God, this is a great laugh. Wonder what that person I shifted about a year ago is up to tonight? Ah, it’s 2.15am, but sure I’ll throw them a text and see. Yeow!
THE RESULT: This seems like a great idea, until you wake up with The Sentbox of Doom. Misspellings are littered across the landscape, along with cringe-inducing, stomach-turning attempts at casual flirtation. They didn’t reply, but the read receipts indicate that THEY SAW EVERYTHING.
9. Calling in sick
THE SCENARIO: Whoa. Head is banging like a bongo, mouth is dry and gritty as a Dip Dab, and you’re grappling with the gruesome The Sentbox of Doom (see above). Work today? Not a chance. You NEVER call in sick. You’re practically OWED this.
THE RESULT: This seems like a great idea, until you remember how boring and unsatisfying sick days truly are. No one is around to do anything, you can’t go anywhere in case you’re spotted, and there’s only so much Netflix you can watch. You’d have been better off in work. Sad but, ultimately, true.
What are some things that you thought were a great idea at the time? Share, share and share alike in the comments y’all.
Read: 8 reasons you are terminally single>
Read: How to pull the ripcord on the worst conversations ever>
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