1. This will be quicker. Will it be quicker? It will definitely be quicker
The eternal struggle between choosing the speedier option; the self service checkout or the real human cashier. You will always choose the wrong one.
2. This is definitely not quicker
You made the wrong choice. Obviously.
3. Look how slowly she’s going. COULD YOU BE ANY MORE GLACIAL?
All of your attention and rage becomes focused on this person dragging things across the scanner in slow motion, and that person painstakingly placing items in shopping bags.
4. The bar code is right there. It’s RIGHT THERE. Look!
It’s taking all your self control not to grab the bag of rocket out of their hands and scan it yourself.
5. No, no. Take your time getting out your wallet and fiddling with change. I have all day
The notes go in there. IN THERE!
6. Oh Jesus Christ no it’s my turn
Maybe if I just back away slowly and abandon my basket…
7. WHERE’S THE BAR CODE? WHERE’S THE BAR CODE?
Damn you rocket!
8. ARGHHHHHHHH!
9. Everyone hates me
And I don’t blame them.
10. Where’s my wallet?
So much sweating. Is your card even in there? What’s your PIN?
11. I can’t pack these things fast enough. I’ll just leave them behind. It’s not worth it
Goodbye cruel world.
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