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WE’RE UNCOMFORTABLE ENOUGH with sexy Halloween costumes being such a thing, but now there’s a new trend emerging.
They’re the opposite of Christmas jumpers, which by nature and tacky and cosy–they’re sexy Christmas costumes… and they’re certified childhood ruiners.
Thursday 14 November, 2024
Thursday 14 November, 2024
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13 sexy festive costumes that will make you want to cancel Christmas
WE’RE UNCOMFORTABLE ENOUGH with sexy Halloween costumes being such a thing, but now there’s a new trend emerging.
They’re the opposite of Christmas jumpers, which by nature and tacky and cosy–they’re sexy Christmas costumes… and they’re certified childhood ruiners.
Here are some favourites…
1. Sexy Grinch
Made from Polyester and Elastane… cosy.
2. Sexy Olaf from Frozen
Ruining childhoods while they’re still childhoods.
:(
Try looking him in the eye now.
3. Santa Baby Burlesque Costume
From the North Poles famous… burlesque club. “If you’ve been good this year then this costume is not for you”. Oh.
4. Sexy Gingerbread… person
* gives up*
5. Gingerbread man body suit
Yes, it actually just got worse.
6. Sexy Christmas pudding
No, we’re not off edibles yet. This one is available for sale in Santry. Get your offers in.
7. Rudolf mankini
For the banter merchant ‘ledge’ in your life.
8. Jingle bell legwarmers
Literally the only thing that will be kept warm, if even. Imagine standing in line for Coppers in this with no jacket on.
9. Santa second skin
You thought you were in the clear after the Gingerbread man, didn’t you?
10. Sexy man elf
That SMILE. Haunting.
11. …
Yes there’s a female one. Gender equality and all that.
12. Whatever this is
Oh dear.
Poor Santa. He’s seen too much.
13. Red hot reindeer
‘There’s a sexy reindeer’, said no one ever.
14. The nutcracker
No comment. Just stop the world, let us off.
This is pretty much you, attempting to wear any of these out in December.
Good luck out there.
This guy’s gift wrapping skills are far superior to your paltry efforts>
Looking to make your winter beard a bit more festive? Try beard baubles>
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