IT’S THAT TIME of life. You may as well come to terms with it.
1. You feel a weird pang of relief when plans get cancelled
2. You used to be offended when you were asked for ID, now you’re pleased
3. You own more than one duvet cover
4. Hearing someone suggest ‘Coppers?’ fills you with slight panic
5. After a party your house is covered in bottles, not cans
6. You have installed and deleted Tinder more times than you can count
7. You’re not sure you really believe in Tinder anyway
8. Your mother was right. There IS a difference between a hand towel and a tea towel
9. Also, you should really get her to show you sometime how to fold fitted sheets
10. Going out two nights in a row is a laughable idea
11. Weddings used to be an exciting novelty. Now they’re really kind of a major expense
12. The last big gig you went to was a band on a reunion tour
13. You know what a reed diffuser is
14. You have considered buying a reed diffuser
15. Overall, you’re still kind of down with the kids, but you can feel it slowly slipping out of your grasp
16. Teenagers occasionally use words you don’t understand
17. You get irritated when young people are nostalgic for stuff you think was, like, five years ago
18. You take a genuine interest in the Graham Norton guestlist
19. A slow cooker actually sounds like a great Christmas present when you think about it
20. You have bought ‘dry clean only’ clothes and actually dry-cleaned them
21. That one friend who parties *all* the time has gone from being HILARIOUS CRAIC to a little bit worrying and tragic
22. That one friend who had kids really young has gone from being a little bit worrying and tragic to kind of amazing and #goals
23. You understand the dials on your washing machine
24. Women: You have secretly read articles about the female ‘fertility cliff’
25. Men: You have secretly borrowed tweezers to deal with nose hair
26. You feel vaguely like you should look into getting a pension, sometime
27. You haven’t looked into getting a pension
28. You genuinely look forward to going to bed.
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